I've survived by putting on a mask and getting stronger.

This quote from Carole and Tuesday could not be more relatable. From abuse dished out by my parents, to sexual abuse, and even abuse in the work place. The whole reason im stoll here now is cause I always hide myself.

I dont know if people really understand how much abuse can do to a person. I'd say about once a day I think about how much better it would have been if abuse had ended my life. That or just hoped that for some reason I'd just stop breathing and finally be able to rest.

Even in a community where I seek an escape from daily life im bombarded with stressors. From people I'm expected to make happy by sacraficing my own happiness and others who barely care cause I'm not popular.

Its funny, in all honesty when I first started art roughly mid 18 years old. I was told that I shouldn't pursue it and that I should have just stuck to writing. Those words have been my drive to grow and get better all this time. I doubt the people who said it realized it hurt.

I still remember things that have happened to me to this day. My step fathers leaving scars on me, my mothers physical and mental abuse. It was all so taxing. Then I was pushed to start working around age 14 and my boss would also physically and verbally abuse me.

Its hard to realize that despite everyone being so similar the slightest difference in how you are will make people hurt you and torment you. I know barely anyone will acknowledge this thread or care about it, but I just want to get my feelings out there.