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I don't think I've ever had a legit anxiety attack--at least, like a physically debilitating one--but BOY do I feel myself get close when I've got the entire family bearing down on me for big, sudden decisions
I personally accepted that this entire year is just a gigantic mulligan awhile ago, so its both shocking and little offensive to see my own family act like pretending to have fun IN A PANDEMIC is possible for someone with as much anxiety as I have
I miss my friends, I miss going out, I miss feeling like an actual young person and not the grizzled elder I feel like rn. But I can't do anything about it and theres no point in getting my hopes up now. I'm so good at self-restraint, I might as well keep it up, right??
yeah it'd be cool to do things for my birthday, but i'm not worth putting people in danger, and its not as if i've had high hopes for my bdays since i had that chuck e cheese party when i was 7. those parties were the PEAK.
anyway, i'm sad, this thread is sad, and i dont even have to deal with all the serious shit that tons of people have been dealing with so i'm just gonna hug the dog and go to bed
