a true crime podcast that investigates what the fuck is going on with donkey kong’s family tree

i have spent many long nights losing my mind over this

What does it mean

this mf is Donkey Kong’s DAD

just found out that Funky Kong is an entrepreneur....could this day get any worse...

Every Straight Couple

The movie Memento but the main character is just trying to remember the DK family tree so he gets it tattooed on his body

Trying to figure out if Diddy Kong even has parents at this stage

This article is killing me
https://the-toast.net/2014/01/28/donkey-kong-relationship-surprise-index/

all the Kong’s ages are only speculative except Bluster Kong? who is 56 years old lmaoooooooooo

Just learned that I am Bluster Kong

god I want this relationship

oh god I’ve been doing DK research for the past hour and just realized I wasn’t connected to WiFi

Moral of the story is- Mario is the true villain, non nuclear families are great, and Diddy Kong deserves a better backstory