imgonna vent on my timeline and delte this later sorry i rly need to

tw obviously and sorryfor typos im really tired

overall i really just dont care wht happens to me anymore. i really have nothing going for me and everry day feels like hell on earth for me always

my relationship with my family is shaky and more and more of my internet friends arent talking to me and i feel like its all my fault

idont really have any talents or anything going for me in life and im always alone. when i say i really have nothing i mean it

ithink im startng to become used to being ignored but it never hurts any less

day after day it’s scroll through twitter, close twitter, open discord, close discord, stare the ceiling, do nothing, all day every day and i really cant take it anymore

it’s hardto say if i truly feel suicidal or not but i have no doubt i’ll reach those feelings eventually

i have no motivation to do anything i used to enjoy anymore. i cant play a video game or read a book anymore. i dont even feel like i really exist anymore.

being neurodivergent doesnt help either. i constantly have hyperfixations and mood swings and i cant have a stable relationship with anyone without accidentally getting overemotional on them and driving them away

i feel like nobody ever listens to me but myself. im my only friend, and it’ll always be that way. im so used to losing friends and people i care about that the feeling is becoming numb to me.

everyone leaves me eventually, and i have no doubt my internet friends will leave eventually. that’s all my fault.

i dont care what happens to me in the future anymore. whatever happens, happens. even my biggest comfort characters do absolutely to make me feel better anymore. i really do feel like an empty void every day

sorry. im probably deleting this thread in an hour or so before i go to bed. namaste.

i probably should have turned off replies but idk how and i dont care that much anyways so