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For those of you who are wondering why it can be harmful to say that you care so much about the t/b dynamic of a relationship in a fic, there are a few reasons that you may not be aware of: https://twitter.com/taekookseasons/status/1287171036417589248">https://twitter.com/taekookse...
1. Having a preference is one thing, but being strongly against the opposite (t/Tae, b/jk for instance) is crossing a boundary as a fan. It’s like saying,
“I don’t want to read this dynamic because I KNOW these members personally, and x would /never/ do this. X would never btm because their personality is like this and it would just never happen. I KNOW BEST.”
That’s false.
None of us know anything about their personal lives, MUCH LESS about their sexual orientation or preferences in bed. It’s toxic, not only to the lgbtq+ community by stereotyping a certain personality or certain behaviors under a sexual preference
None of us know anything about their personal lives, MUCH LESS about their sexual orientation or preferences in bed. It’s toxic, not only to the lgbtq+ community by stereotyping a certain personality or certain behaviors under a sexual preference
(thus squashing the idea that people of ALL different body types, sexual orientations AND gender identities can—and DO—enjoy many different aspects of sexual pleasure in WHATEVER form)
but it also stamps a heteronormative label on the relationship by saying “the person who displays more aggressive, dominant, and confident traits is more likely to top, and those who express more sweet, coy, and innocent traits are likely to bottom.
“But what if an author writes a ship with a dynamic similar to what you described above? Isn’t that just the author pressing /their/ preference on other people?”
No. They are simply putting art out there for people to enjoy. They aren’t demanding that you read it.
No. They are simply putting art out there for people to enjoy. They aren’t demanding that you read it.
Also, there ARE relationships out there whose dynamics fit that expression, but it’s simply ONE possible expression of an IMAGINED relationship, that an author put a lot of hard work into. They’re not saying,
“this is the only way this particular ship can ever be expressed bc this is exactly what these people are like irl”
they’re saying, “wouldn’t it be cool to imagine what it would be like if these people were in a relationship and expressed their sexuality through this dynamic?”
they’re saying, “wouldn’t it be cool to imagine what it would be like if these people were in a relationship and expressed their sexuality through this dynamic?”
What we need to stop doing:
• caring so much about sexual dynamics of an IMAGINED relationship in a story. Getting upset about it implies that you think the author is wrong because you believe that relationship between two people looks exactly like what you have in your head,
• caring so much about sexual dynamics of an IMAGINED relationship in a story. Getting upset about it implies that you think the author is wrong because you believe that relationship between two people looks exactly like what you have in your head,
and should never be portrayed in any other way (because in fact we don’t know them in that way at all).
It also emphasizes the immense falsity that sex is the most important aspect of a relationship.
It also emphasizes the immense falsity that sex is the most important aspect of a relationship.
It’s not. There are so many more layers to human connection than just physical, and I think it’s great when an author can express that.
• stop trying to get authors to cater to your wants, or straight up demanding that they write a certain dynamic. Not cute.
• stop trying to get authors to cater to your wants, or straight up demanding that they write a certain dynamic. Not cute.
I will shout it from the rooftops;
WRITERS ARE NOT HERE TO CATER TO OUR PREFERENCES.
Not only do they deserve creative freedom over—uhum, their own story???
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😙" title="Kussgesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Kussgesicht mit lächelnden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😙" title="Kussgesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Kussgesicht mit lächelnden Augen">—but that creative freedom is not up for debate.
WRITERS ARE NOT HERE TO CATER TO OUR PREFERENCES.
Not only do they deserve creative freedom over—uhum, their own story???
Even if they ask for input at times on what you guys would like to see more of, that does NOT put them under any obligation to include your preferences.
EVERYTHING about the story is under the control of the writer. Period.
EVERYTHING about the story is under the control of the writer. Period.
What we can do instead:
• Reevaluate what you know about non-heterosexual relationships, (and relationships in general for that matter. It’s limiting to het relationships as well and contributes to useless gender roles and can enforce toxic masculinity)
• Reevaluate what you know about non-heterosexual relationships, (and relationships in general for that matter. It’s limiting to het relationships as well and contributes to useless gender roles and can enforce toxic masculinity)
We need to stop contributing to the narrative that “this radiates top/bottom energy”
SEXUAL PREFERENCES AND WHO TAKES IT UP THE ASS IS NOT DETERMINED BY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, PERSONALITY, THE WAY SOMEONE DRESSES, OR ANY SOCIAL ASPECTS.
IT IS BASED PURELY ON PERSONAL PREFERENCE OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED
IT IS BASED PURELY ON PERSONAL PREFERENCE OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED
