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What is 𝗴𝗮𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, what does it to a person and how do you respond to it?
- an important thread with which you could help victims by sharing.
TRIGGER WARNING emotional abuse.
- an important thread with which you could help victims by sharing.
TRIGGER WARNING emotional abuse.
1. What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group makes you doubt yourself, question your own memory, perception, or judgement on purpose with the intention to lower your self esteem.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group makes you doubt yourself, question your own memory, perception, or judgement on purpose with the intention to lower your self esteem.
2. How does it show?
Gaslighting can happen in many types of relationships, including those with bosses, friends, and parents but mostly relationships. It often includes backhanded compliments, rhetorical questions and provoking/mean comments.
Gaslighting can happen in many types of relationships, including those with bosses, friends, and parents but mostly relationships. It often includes backhanded compliments, rhetorical questions and provoking/mean comments.
3. What are common phrases of gaslighting?
- "Let it go"
-> taking away your right of processing + dealing with it + give you the feeling that you're holding on too something not important.
"You're overreacting"
-> it invalidates your personal boundaries and feelings.
- "Let it go"
-> taking away your right of processing + dealing with it + give you the feeling that you're holding on too something not important.
"You're overreacting"
-> it invalidates your personal boundaries and feelings.
Makes you feel like you have no right to be upset.
"Take it as a compliment"
-> they're trying to make you feel like you aren't appreciating what they do enough when in reality they don't appreciate you.
"Take it as a compliment"
-> they're trying to make you feel like you aren't appreciating what they do enough when in reality they don't appreciate you.
4. How do I know if someone gaslights me?
Have you felt like the following?
- no longer feeling like the person you used to
- being more anxious and less confident than you used to be
- often wondering if you’re being too sensitive
- feeling like everything you do is wrong
Have you felt like the following?
- no longer feeling like the person you used to
- being more anxious and less confident than you used to be
- often wondering if you’re being too sensitive
- feeling like everything you do is wrong
- always thinking it’s your fault when things go wrong
- apologizing often
- having a sense that something’s wrong, but being unable to identify what
- often questioning whether your response to your partner is appropriate (e.g., wondering if you were too unreasonable or not)
- apologizing often
- having a sense that something’s wrong, but being unable to identify what
- often questioning whether your response to your partner is appropriate (e.g., wondering if you were too unreasonable or not)
- Making excuses for your partner’s behaviour
- not giving information to friends/ family members to avoid questions
- feeling isolated from friends + family
- finding it hard to make decisions
- feeling hopeless + taking little or no pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
- not giving information to friends/ family members to avoid questions
- feeling isolated from friends + family
- finding it hard to make decisions
- feeling hopeless + taking little or no pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
5. How do I respond if someone tries to gaslight me?
- Stay quiet.
-> gaslighters are trying to provoke a reaction from you, if you just say nothing it's what bothers them the most.
- If possible: stay away.
-> change work days, avoid places they're at often, they won't change
- Stay quiet.
-> gaslighters are trying to provoke a reaction from you, if you just say nothing it's what bothers them the most.
- If possible: stay away.
-> change work days, avoid places they're at often, they won't change
but you can change your way of dealing with it!
- If possible and if they're not violent: confront them.
-> most gaslighters are narcissists and their egos are fragile. Try these:
- what do you gain from saying that?
- why are you wasting your energy?
- If possible and if they're not violent: confront them.
-> most gaslighters are narcissists and their egos are fragile. Try these:
- what do you gain from saying that?
- why are you wasting your energy?
- why do you want to be right so desperately?
6. Talk to someone
Since gaslighters take away your sense of reality it's important to reassure you of the actual reality a lot.
If you can't do it alone ask your friends/colleagues/family members for reality checks.
6. Talk to someone
Since gaslighters take away your sense of reality it's important to reassure you of the actual reality a lot.
If you can't do it alone ask your friends/colleagues/family members for reality checks.
- "Hey did you feel like this situation was ______ too?"
- "Do you think my response was appopiate?"
- "How would you act if ______ happened (to you)?"
7. Allow help.
Gaslighting marks your mental health so it's important to regain energy after being a victim.
- "Do you think my response was appopiate?"
- "How would you act if ______ happened (to you)?"
7. Allow help.
Gaslighting marks your mental health so it's important to regain energy after being a victim.
You are worthy of seeing a therapist and finding your happieness again! They will make you feel alone and weak but they don't have the power over you. You are loved and never alone.
EXTRA:
Here's a useful Toolkit I found that helps when dealing with gaslighters.
Credits to: ortusjewels on instagram
Here's a useful Toolkit I found that helps when dealing with gaslighters.
Credits to: ortusjewels on instagram
Btw this is a typical reaction from gaslighters being called out! It's their insecurities they can't hide any further but do not let it make you feel. It's not your fault. https://twitter.com/ftdtsupremacy/status/1287201924643790849?s=19
