I had a great birthday yesterday connecting on #writercommunity and want to give back with some writing advice. I started 3 random novels, and all 3 used the same narrative technique (the "double-back") that detracted from getting me hooked into the story. Here goes #opinions 1/9

The function of the first chapter is to hook – get your reader engaged enough to want to read the second chapter. That is all. And if they are reading the first chapter, they WANT to get there. There was something in your title or blurb that made them say, cool! 2/9

Generally for Chapter 1, introduce the main character, bring them to life a little, and bring them to your novel's cool twist. Readers already know what this twist is! My blurb says, "Curtis ... joins his local Hygiene Center," so Chapter 1 is to introduce him and get him in! 3/9

So far so good. Give a little backstory, kick them to the twist. Mention that they happen to be a werewolf, or are secretly still in love with their high school sweetheart, whatever. That's great. The problem is when you go too deep. 4/9

You give a little back story (Lestor had been a werewolf for twelve years), but then you circle around and give the back story to the back story (he had been walking alone along the moors at midnight...). THAT my friends is the double-back. 5/9

Just stop. Stop. Don't fucking do it. Here's why: a) it's hard to follow. It's too early to do this jumping back and forth between timelines. First chapter, remember? Be kind to the reader. Orient them to your MC. Don't make them jump through cognitive hoops. 6/9

b) It doesn't matter. Remember Oz in Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
- "How did you become a werewolf?"
- "It's a long story."
- "I got bit."
-"I guess it's not that long a story." We don't need the long story of the back story. Keep it moving! 7/9

And also, c) we don't care yet. I picked up the book because it had this cool world-bending twist! I don't want to learn how the main character met his wife. I want to get in there. 8/9

Finally, d) the double-back is telling not showing, which is dull to read. Put it in the first draft, sure, because you are writing your way through it and getting to know your character and setting. But to publish? You want to hook your reader. Kill the double-back. 9/9