For the part that was good my relationship in final year, which was I think the first time I dated, made me really believe that I can be loved whole heartedly and openly and see someone constantly try to back the word “I love you” with effort.

In every moment he was around and away from me he made sure to make me feel that his part in my life was to bring love, peace and make me the happiest person even with the chaos around.

The ideas weekly for date night, jumping to open the door, finding my hand when I’d start feeling overwhelmed in public spaces, the time I woke up from a nightmare and he woke up and rubbed me till I fell asleep then fell asleep, getting me flowers and chocolate

When I had the worst flu but had to be at school studying and marking scripts and he came with medicine and stayed in the car and watched me sleep for 30 minutes and came to fetch me when I was done. After that experience I truly can’t say that effort for me is not possible.

Effort and thoughtfulness, and because I’m such an extreme introvert he’d watch and just allow me to unravel instead of assuming and weekly ask “what needs to be done better?” Every Thursday he’d call me to have an open dialogue just for that. Tender and thoughtful