like no but really think abt it u have a kid who’s used to being alone.. from his entire life save one person and then u take away that one person.. u have a kid who feels fundamentally unseen and unloved. said kid experiences real support from teammates once, does his best +

to cling onto that, going to the extreme opposite of what he perceives to have landed him in his isolation (being a dictator) to being totally adaptable to others to do the point of appeasing everyone but himself. because in a way he still feels that that support is conditional,

still feels the after effects of the trauma of feeling fundamentally unseen and unloved. if you believe you are the problem then of course you’d put urself last in ur list of “people who must be right.” and hence convinces himself this is what he wants & what’s right,

because it’s what allowed him to escape the loneliness and isolation he’s experienced his whole life. but then he hits a wall, where that mentality suddenly keeps him from embracing his true strengths + helping his teammates, the same ones he’s trying to keep, succeed.

we have this dichotomy and its ironic that the thing he does all for his teammates’ benefit and approval is what actually keeps him from helping those teammates and more importantly helping himself.

and then he gets called out on it from a stranger who doesnt know anything abt him, & is hence forced to accept the fact that there is a disconnect between what he truly desires (to be himself and still be accepted unconditionally) vs. what he feels he must do (put himself last)

not knowing how to navigate that internal conflict, he falls back into what he knows, into what is familiar: isolation, trying to “fix everything by himself.” but this time, the stakes are higher bc he knows what he can lose, & when he realizes it, it’s a reminder of a trauma,

but that trauma isnt of only his one kitaiichi match, it’s the trauma of feeling like you’re inherently unseen and unloved, that those around you only conditionally accept you. the trauma of a lifetime of loneliness and isolation. see the parallels between the 1st & last panels

tobio says early on that he feels it’s not a problem that his former teammates are his opponents during the seijoh practice match bc theyre not his teammates, but while they might not physically be with him anymore, their existence is a reminder to him of his “failures”.

that IS a problem for him. he sees kunimi succeed with oikawa, sees the differences in how oikawa approached kunimi vs how he did, and the difference in outcome reinforces to him that he is the problem. that being accepted like oikawa is unattainable for someone like him.

there’s a reason it’s called back in that moment in 224 bc it is a reminder to him that HE was wrong, bc HE was the problem, bc HE is the one with the lifetime of isolation to back up those false claims. and ofc his approach was flawed, but his mistakes didnt ever deem him

inherently “wrong” like he’s internalized. and when he catches on he immediately apologizes, but what is he really apologizing for? is he apologizing for the way he’s communicated his feelings, aka the only thing that he “did wrong” in that scenario, or

is he apologizing for having dared to express a true emotion knowing that ofc he must be wrong, out of fear of repeated rejection of someone like him who can only be conditionally accepted?

i think that’s why all the reactions of his teammates are so hard hitting, because firstly, hinata is the one who tells him he “wont listen” to tobio if he disagrees. not “leave him” but that he would simply have a difference in opinion.

and combined, its a show to tobio of how you can have healthy disagreements with people, that people won’t just abandon you because u dared to disagree with them. it’s a foreign concept to tobio, this thought that someone could stay by his side & accept him even through conflict.

it’s more hard hitting knowing that theyve had major conflict before, and it was resolved by tobio eventually stepping down (it helped them, which further reinforces “i was wrong”). this time this conflict ends with hinata disproving that line of thought,

telling him that it doesnt matter how “dictatorial” he is, he WILL see unconditional acceptance from hinata and the rest of his team. that they actually see him for his whole self and not just his outbursts or flaws, that he is not fundamentally unseen or unlovable

see how what the rest of his teammates discuss is their issues with how tobio communicated himself? aka the isolated mistake of this situation, the only thing he should’ve apologized for? they dont make it a problem of his inherent flawed personhood.

u even get asahi apologizing to him and more importantly explaining what he’s doing, which hence acknowledges he understands tobio’s good intentions. tanaka does the same. they understand him as a person and not just through his “mistakes”.

“we’ve always known your good intentions of just trying to do the best you could do.” nobody saw that in him before, judged him only by what he presented, as a grieving and lost child.

“i know now. you all taught it to me, so it must be true!” there’s a reason ofc that the 224/5 panels are in the montage. what did they teach him? yes, that they’ll be there to unconditionally accept him. but moreso, that he is a whole person, capable of being seen and loved.

he stands tall as the king of the court, in front of his teammates who have lead him there, in front of hinata who was the catalyst to all of this, who was his “someone stronger.” hinata is his “someone stronger” because he saw tobio as a whole person when he couldnt see himself.

he saw tobio as his OWN “someone stronger”, someone worthy of staying by the side of for literally a decade. and he’s still there, all the way til the very end, showing him that unconditional acceptance, this time accompanied by tobio’s own unconditional self acceptance. [end?]