The clarity that comes with being a single, Black, child-free woman over 40 is painful, but necessary.

It feels like each morning since the pandemic started has brought a new realization/acceptance, and today, I made peace with not being partnered and not conceiving children.

The world is a scary place, but the thought of raising a child alone in it (and all the bills they bring) is even more frightening. The fairytale belief that there is "someone out there for me" used to make me sad because it never came true, now I just laugh at the thought.

More than anything, I am mad as hell that so much of what so many goals are built on is a bed of vipers and lies. Patriarchy has fucked us up, in so many ways. Imagine if I hadn't been trying to make myself appealing to men since birth. How much more joy could I have had?

If I hadn't been so concerned about fitting into accepted beauty standards, would I have spent tens of thousands on weight loss fads, stretch mark lotions (they don't work), and/or therapy because of body dysmorphia and internalized fatshaming?

What a weight off everyone's shoulders it would be if we just stopped collectively giving a fuck about being degreed, partnered, and posh.