Thread by @AugustiMyrr, IT HURTS SO MUCH when after all those years of keeping trauma [...]

IT HURTS SO MUCH when after all those years of keeping trauma all to yourself is being thrown away by that one person who put you there alone in the dark.

i’m not the type to be vocal about my experiences BUT THIS IS WAY OUT OF LINE. I DESERVE MORE THAN THIS.

IT TOOK ME 6-7 YEARS TO NEVER HEAL IT TOOK ME THOSE YEARS TO BE ABLE TO LEAN ON A FEW PEOPLE AND BE VULNERABLE FOR ONCE ABOUT THE PLACE THAT I AM IN. IT TOOK ME WHAT FELT LIKE FOREVER. But when I found the slightest strength to confront and want to have closure this is what I get

JUST BECAUSE YOU ENGAGE IN A RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T MEAN NO LINES HAVE BEEN CROSSED IN BETWEEN EACH OTHER.

JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE A 16 YEAR OLD TURNING 17 DURING SUMMER DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I WAS A MINOR TOO AND AN 11 YEAR OLD TURNING 12 AT THAT TIME.

I APPROACHED YOU WITH MUSTERED UP STRENGTH AND I HAD TO WAKE UP TO THESE MESSAGES?? SO “SORRY” HAD AN EXPIRATION DATE BECAUSE THE NEXT DAY IT WAS ALL DEFENSE ABOUT HOW WE WERE BOTH “MINORS” AND THAT IT WAS SO CALLED “TRUE LOVE”

I remember crying in bed reading these messages, THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF CLOSURE FOR SOMEBODY WHO’S BEEN BLAMING HERSELF FOR ALL THE FEELINGS I FELT WHEN I WAS WAY BACK IN ELEMENTARY????

I’VE ALWAYS KEPT THE SHAME FROM WAY BACK, THE WAY I USED TO CARRY THE WEIGHT FROM EVERYBODY TELLING ME THINGS AND FOR BEING SO NAIVE.

I WAS SO YOUNG AND I HAD NO CLUE WHAT THESE FEELINGS WERE. I HAD NO CLUE SEXUAL COERCION WAS A THING, I HAD NOT A SINGLE IDEA.

I-

WA NAKO KA SABOT NGANONG MAO NI IYANG MGA REPLIES... SAKIT KAAYOS DUGHAN SULTIAN RA TAWN KOG ING ANI.

MY FEELINGS WERE EXTREMELY VALID. EVEN IF I HAD LOVE TO GIVE, I’M HUMAN TOO AND I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL.

I JUST WASNT ABLE TO KNOW WHAT IT EXACTLY WAS.

How long does it take for trauma to go away? After a year? Two years?

What was the real reason why a conversation has been brought up? Because of trauma that I’ve been carrying with me for years. Kailangan diay ma wala ang feeling overnight? Kailangan naay due date???

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="⚠️" title="Warnsignal" aria-label="Emoji: Warnsignal">Here’s pov from back then as what my heart and mind can remember based on what i’ve heard, felt and seen.

(long story) ((1/2))

Here’s pov from back then as what my heart and mind can remember based on what i’ve heard, felt and seen. (long story) ((1/2))" title="https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="⚠️" title="Warnsignal" aria-label="Emoji: Warnsignal">Here’s pov from back then as what my heart and mind can remember based on what i’ve heard, felt and seen. (long story) ((1/2))">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="⚠️" title="Warnsignal" aria-label="Emoji: Warnsignal">my POV from back then as what my heart and mind can remember.

(2/2)

my POV from back then as what my heart and mind can remember. (2/2)" title="https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="⚠️" title="Warnsignal" aria-label="Emoji: Warnsignal">my POV from back then as what my heart and mind can remember. (2/2)">

If only you had not changed your mind and take back all of your claimed “apologetic” exclamations the night before you sent these to me. How dare you use the length of years to tell apart how trauma works for me. How dare you tell me how I should live and that i’m truly happy?

must have been so nice for you, must be nice for you to live your life now. All I wanted was closure, I was kind enough to only want closure. Haha this is unbelievable

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