I’m hearing from clients, friends, and colleagues some version on the same sentiment: my depression is getting worse. I need to/did increase the dosage on my depression/anti-anxiety meds. First, yes, me too.

Second, AND, I want to name the thing that isn’t named often enough. It’s grief, & it’s completely appropriate. In this I’m not suggesting you toss out your meds or that I’m undermining any mental health diagnosis. I do want to add to the conversation: grief is at play, too.

What are we grieving? What aren’t we grieving, really. There’s widespread loss. Loss of routine & the normal we had. Loss of jobs and financial security. Loss of health security and possibly health care. Loss plans we were looking forward to: trips, gatherings, travel, concerts.

Loss of the ability to do our jobs as we’re accustomed to. Loss of bubbles of privilege & blissful ignorance. Loss of life & liberties. Loss of loved one to this virus. Loss of ability to gather and mourn our loved ones according to our typical rituals and customs.

This is just a passing glance at all the iterations of loss we’ve experienced. Feel free to add to it as you’d like. Know that loss is so much more than death of someone we loved. Know that fear, sadness, and anger are all typical components of grief.

Know that grief is an *appropriate* response to ALL OF THIS. Your grief is valid. You can attend to your grief now in any of the ways you’ve ever honored your grief work. The catch now is, there’s no end yet. We don’t know when the loss will stop.

We don’t know when the constant adapting will stop. That’s okay. We don’t have control over any of that. If you need to turn on sad songs, a movie you know will help you cry, or scream to me until you cry, that’s all good grief work.

I would encourage us not to ignore or sublimate the grief, because it will demand attention sooner or later. And it’s probably best if it doesn’t come out sideways in the form of displaced ugliness to self and others or maladaptive coping strategies.

Name it, honor the feelings by feeling the feelings. Grief: It’s normal.