Deadbeat. Worthless. Simp. Broke a**. Lazy.

Dear "innocent deadbeat",

I know these words are familiar. I know they are triggers. I know they evoke a certain pain, deep in your heart, every time you hear them, because you have been called these names repeatedly.

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You know they are not true. Yes, sometimes you show up two and a half minutes late on your weekend. Sometimes you give sh. 500 because you do not have the 5k that you're supposed to give. Sometimes the sippy cup or socks or toys are forgotten at your house.

If you have a house.

Your ex does not want to hear that you were stopped by a cop because you were rushing to see your children after a doctor's appointment that took too long, or that you only had sh. 530 between you and wealth, and you used the 30 to send the 500.

To her, it's deliberate spite.

You dare not offer to take the children under your care, or else you are threatened with court - and FIDA, and accusations that have nothing to do with you. She says she will say you abuse them. She will pull whatever stops are required to get the judge to side with her.

Never mind that she may have been the abuser - of you AND the children - but the 'woman card' is hers to deal at any time.

You may have been shamed on social media. Maybe your identity has been revealed. You have been shamed before her side of the family. Yours, too, maybe.

And you're frustrated. Angry. You have deep regrets. You'd do anything to go back in time and know better. You might even hate her. You feel like you're damned if you do, triple-damned if you don't.

If you went back in time and did better,would you have those precious children?

I wish I had the words to tell you. I wish I could sit on your living room carpet and listen to you vent. But then I realize you might not even have a carpet. Or a living room. Maybe she left with everything, but had the mercy to leave the curtains, so no one can see you sitting

on those jerrycans, bound by your lease, trying to figure out how you'll pay the rent in a few days.

Maybe you were kicked out and are living with family, or with friends... or in squalor.

I wish I could give you a hug. But even so, it would only be a side hug .

So I clearly cannot help you. But I know One who can. His Name is Jesus.

Invite Him to your world. Seek His guidance and favor. Please muster every bit of strength in you and learn the fight of standing still. Do all the good you can, and then stand.

Watch Him fight for you.

You may feel alone. You're not. He is closer than your thoughts.

Women might not be on your side. The law might not be on your side. But God who sees is on your side, and I can tell you without fear of contradiction that if you just trust Him, He will fight for you.

Do not give up. Your children need you. Pray for them. You might not be able to reach them physically, but your prayers can travel to the very ends of the earth.

Hugs and hugs.

Side hugs, of course.

See? You still have that laugh in you. Joy is your portion.

Blessings