As the call to ban LGBT “conversion” therapy gathers momentum, I thought I’d share a little of my story. As a young adult I felt huge conflict between my same-sex attractions & my conservative Christian beliefs. In 2010 I found an organisation that said it could help me. (Thread)

The representative of this organisation was the 1st person I’d ever come out to. He told me he used to identify as gay but was now pursuing a relationship with a female, and gave me a book to read called “Coming Out Straight” by psychotherapist Richard Cohen.

He also recommended I go on an “experiential weekend” called “Journey into Manhood”, run by an American organisation called People Can Change. The weekend was next being held in Southampton, England, in October 2010 and I went.

The weekend was described as “for men with unwanted homosexual feelings who are sincerely self-motivated to lessen their homosexual identity, attractions and behaviors and to increase their heterosexual masculine identity and desires.”

The co-creator of this weekend was a licenced counsellor in the US, David Matheson, and I was sent a 12-page document he’d written on the process of “growth toward mature masculinity and heterosexuality”. (Matheson later came out as gay, left his wife and began dating men.)

I paid $650 for the weekend and had to sign a confidentiality agreement with a hefty financial penalty for violation. There were men from all round the world there – Norway, Poland, South Africa, Israel, USA, Mexico. We engaged in psychodrama group work, listened to talks etc.

One of the leaders of the weekend I attended was Arthur Goldberg who, unbeknown to me at the time, had already served a prison sentence for a multi-million dollar fraud. He was later convicted of consumer fraud in the US for saying he could change the sexuality of clients.

However, these “Journey into Manhood” weekends are still being run around the world.
Back in my native N. Ireland I was put in touch with counsellor Mike Davidson and met him in his office. He admitted me to a group of people “struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions”.

I remember him describing same-sex attractions as a kind of cannibalism, on the basis that it was a desire to become one with another man in the most unnatural of ways. Is that something a shame-filled young man should be told? Mike Davidson is still carrying out his "ministry”.

Through books, blogs, meeting gay Christians and finding supportive friends I eventually came to a place of peace with my sexuality. Jez and I had our first date on Valentine’s Day in 2016 and we’ll be celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary this Monday.

I’m so grateful to have come to realise that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. For other people of faith struggling with their sexuality to find peace they need to hear the stories of LGBT people of faith, better theology and a community of safe, accepting people.

The conversion therapy ban is only a small piece of the puzzle. Davidson et al will continue “helping people live in accordance with their beliefs”. We need to help people find beliefs that are congruent with human flourishing. For that, we need empathy, understanding & kindness.

I can recommend @Diverse_Church as a great organisation for Christians looking for support with their sexuality or gender identity.