Its one of those beuatiful Saturdays where you just feel that "Today is going to be a good day"

Like all Saturdays, you check last nights scores on Blitz, then go on the group chat with the boys. Its the last Saturday, so its the monthly squash tournament. The three of you: You, Ace and Spiyoyo. R600 on the line

You: Majita, Starting at 11h30. Please dont be late. You know how those people are nge courts.

Ace: Sure chap. Im getting ready

Spiyo: No crisis my leader.

You lock up the flat and head out, squash racquet in hand. As you get to parking area, you see that cute meza in a maroon Clio. She waves, as she drives past. You flash a smile and unlock the Audi. Vorsprung durch technik

You start the car and head out. Open the window and greet the security. You hand him a R20. He thanks you and opens the boom "Sure mlungu. Sure ngamla"!!!

Driving, you decide to jam some nice RnB, its a bit early for Kabza. You play Alfonzo Hunter - Just the way (Playas Play). The bass is pumping nice Dankie mpilo!!!

Incoming Call: ICE Mamzo! Haibo, so early. Then you remember oh kanene. Its month end "Hi Com. Kunjani?" You chat a bit and she says she hasnt seen you in a bit. You agree to pop by after Squash.

You get to the courts. Ace is already there. You park and get out laughing at him "Mate. Does it not bother you that you are still wearing your EP u/16 Squash jacket?" He laughs and responds "mxim. It was cold"

Ace asks "Bra. Must we always wait for this guy? No man" before you answer, you can hear the GTI Vrrrrrrrrrr, you smile. Ifikile ingwenya Spikiyiki!! Sunroof down, wearing a slick pair of sunnies pumping Joyous Celebration - Umbhedesho

"Nkoooosi, ndithembe wenaaaaaa!!" he gets out. Locks the car. Ace asks "mfethu. Why? Lacoste Tshirt, lacoste shorts. For squash? Really?" Spiyo responds "Chief. Its Lacoste to you, to me its just a shirt and shorts hey" you shake hands and make your way inside

You collect the R200s and announce the rules "Okay bafethi. Wafa-wafa, first to 11 wins. Spiyo you will play the winner of me and Ace and then there will be 3rd place playoff" Spiyo responds "Ladies first. Lets go"

Ace makes light work of you and wins 11-4. Spiyo comes on the court and puts up a strong fight. Ace beats him 11-9. A great game. You and Spiyo play and he beats you. you snap a post game selfie for the gram and head to get drinks

As you sit Spiyo asks Ace. "Chief. Please explain to me. Whats happening there by Steinhoff?" Ace takes a deep breath and says "yhoo gents. Its hard to simplify. Obviously its all allegations at this stage" you all nod in agreement

The drinks come. 3 castle lagers and 3 jagermeisters. You start with the shots and toast "L'Chaaaim". Ace gets into it "Man. Its a whole lot of kak. Inflated Profit Lines, Off balance sheet financing, SPV companies. Its a whole web bra"

"And the worst part is SA Pension Fund lost alot" Spiyo stops him and asks "Chief. Dont use jargon, whats Inflated Profti Lines and Off Balance Sheet financing?" Ace explains. You guys order three chicken wraps and salad.

Ace gets a call. He goes outside to take it. You and Spiyo are left grappling with Off Balance Sheet financing he comes back and says "Ekse. A couple of my colleagues espan are having a chill at the beach. You guys keen?" Spiyo answers "Haibo chief. Ofcourse"

So afike uBill Cosby (the bill) and Spiyo slides it to Ace and says "zinto ezincane ezi kuwe boi boi. Make the pots" Ace pulls out R400 from his winnings and pays. You tell the waiter "Keep the change" Ace shakes his head and says its fine

Spiyo starts his car and changes from Umbhedesho to Kabza - Amantombazane you agree to speak in an hour after freshining up. You leave to go shower and change. You have to go pop in at Mamzo.

You go withdraw some money for Momz. And head to her place. You hug her. Have some small chat and leave the parcel. She gives you a tupperware with last nights beef stew and dombolo "ubuye nayo le tupperware ke please"

You take a quick shower and decide on what to wear: white Gant golfer, Trenery shorts and Sebago boat shoes you whatsapp the gents and decide to meet at the Tops by the beach. Youre not sure on which cologne, so you phfa phfa some Bleu de Chanel. Haak vrystaat!!

Whatsapp Group chat

Spiyo: Ace kwedini. Is this thing still on?

Ace: Ewe man

You: Okay gents. Im leaving now

Spiyo: something tells me im going to fall in love today

Ace:

You get in the car. Decide on playing Pretty Disaster (De Capo Mix). At the boom, you open window and give security the tupperware "Nantsi ilunch grootman. Ndizoybamba kuwe late itupperware" hes greatfull "Dankie mlungu" Sharp bhudda. You speed off, the Audi responds

You arrive at Spar. call Ace, he says hes parking. Spiyo is there already. His standing next to his car. As usual, Dressed White Italy Away jersey with PIRLO 21 on the back, Torn jeans and fresh fresh white Air Force 1s. My G!!!!!!

The Tops is packed. Spiyo walks in first. Hes greeted by the staff. "Hi ladies. Hi ladies" the lady that usually helps you asks "How many today?" Spiyo laughs and says 2. She opens cabinet with key and takes out 2 bottles of Hennessy VS

She asks "iVeuve zona? How many?" Spiyanko responds "Ha.a no Veuve today my friend. Give me 3 Simonsig aaseblief my skat" it comes to a little over One point six Spiyo pays and says "The best thing about memories, is making them"

Ace insists on beer and buys a 24 Corona. Spiyo says hes going to the shop quick, we can leave him. You say "Chief. Why you like grand entrance always huh?" He laughs and says "Ey comrade. Failing to plan, is planning to fail. Art of War boi"

You arrive at the braai spot where the colleagues are. Everyone is sipping on something. You get introduced to comrade ladies. You notice that the hug from Mandisa to Ace was a little too friendly

As you are making small talk, you see Knight Rider (thats what Spiyo calls his Black GTI), hes got the sunroof open, cruising, pumping Beyonce's "Me, Myself and I". Instead of parking normally, he insists on reverse parking.

He gets out and opens the boot. He takes out the box with the likwa and places it on the table. "Hi guys. Ninjani?" He opens the Henny box. Opens the bottle and pours a shot out" one of the ladies Nicole, asks why hes doing that, he says "for the homies we lost"

Spiyo asks you come with him to fetch something in the car. On the way, you ask him "And then chief, Beyonce entrance?" He responds "To defeat the enemy, you must know him. How can you love women, if you dont know what women love?"

He takes out two packets of red cups in the boot. And winks at you. He says "Beach vibes arent instagrammable without red cups" the ladies laugh. He winks at you again. "Nicky my love. Would you like Henny or Simonsig?" Spiyo asks