If you are wondering what’s wrong with your country, check if you or someone you love caught any of these viruses. In the event of the slightest signs, practice Political-distancing immediately, and you should feel better in no time: 1/7

1. Orangutans: The embodiment of ignorance and all that is wrong in this country. Illiterate and pretentious nouveau-riches opportunists, mostly Christian right-wing dinosaurs, who pretend to be honest, intelligent and patriotic. KKK with daddy issues. La Kammiyye Wla Naw3iyye.

2. Objectionist psychos: Essentially and mostly delusional religious suprematists who deserve medical attention rather than public respect or parliamentary representation. Diet ISIS in Cartel cool.

3. Objectionist goons: Exotic mixture of malty stalinists, aged nazis and rural feudalists with deep sectarian fillings. Claiming virtue, intellect and monopoly on truth; ergo Mullahs and Baath butt-massaging. Average intellect and ethical levels: Samaha and his loud chauffeur.

4. Political goats: It is democratically one's right to light up candles for his earthly gods, especially those who don't pretend some extra-national grand designs like their Objectionist enemies. However, these bovines deserve beating for their dullness, greed and corruption.

5. Cedar Revolution apologists: Essentially those who have participated in that grand moment, but oddly felt as if they have committed incest or treason recently! Naive but well-meaning. Time will prove October 17 was the trailer of the Cedar Revolution Part II (the revenge).

6. "Th"awra infiltrators, climbers and tourists: Witch hunters and dimwits who just want to enjoy the "journey" not reach the "destination”. Don’t know or don’t want to know, but want to enlighten us still.