as a 15 yo closeted kid full of risperidone (for manic psychosis) who had literally ZERO friends in school because I was too autistic to function and being sexually assaulted by an adult I was “in love” with (also in a very small rural town raised by Brethren’s...

fuck you https://twitter.com/saintknives/status/1286643001956143104

I get that it’s cool or something to make fun of Tumblr users on Twitter but I don’t think all you cool elder millennials/gen x poseurs understand that 1) no one actually cares about whether or not tumblr is a psyop? 2) Twitter is FUCKED. the velocity of the current viral cycle

is going to break Twitter (or YOU) eventually. And tbh, tumblr literally saved my life on multiple occasions. I would have been a lot better at dying if I didn’t have someone to talk to. I cannot believe the futility of claiming ironically that Tumblr was a psyop when like yeah

that’s what social media algorithms are. every social media algorithim that we are currently using (insta, fb, tiktok, whatever) is incredibly harmful to our brains. we’re constantly on edge and full of adrenaline because of The Algorithim. and we’re like moths to a flame

because we’re so desperate for some sort of respite from our loneliness and alienation. Instead of connection we dissociate, we scroll and escape! but when we finally put the phone down, we feel shittier than before (again, our adrenaline has kicked in in response to the

algorithim in order to suck us in and keep us from being able to stop scrolling. this is how they retain millions of users. it’s coercive and completely NOT consensual.

I hope one day we’ll have the tech to make friends. As a kid I learned to co-regulate by running into the Niagara escarpment and feeling safe with the waterfalls and trees I could hide in. I’ve been corrgulating with the pacific dogwood and murder of crows beside my balcony but

it’s not the same as running into the forest to kick your own ass and have a big cry and fall out of a tree that you knew was too big to climb but just needed to fall out of it to help your vestibular system and proprioception. Im frustrated and trying to find new coping skills

to self regulate within my apartment (I am allowing myself to stim as hard and expressively as I want, which is nice, but not enough.) anyways, I want the tech to make wonderous friends in an enchanted forest (yes I read a lot of Beatrix Potter and Charlottes Web as a toddler)