The mental health system is something I& #39;ve been trying to navigate, to get proper treatment, for years. And years. And years. I am through with this patch-work bullshit of hoop jumping. You know what? After decades of this, I really would rather die than deal with this bullshit.
That is as honest as I can be. And it is honest.
I am so angry and dejected. There is no hope, which I don& #39;t believe in anyhow. "The system has failed you, Kristen, let& #39;s help you. Jump through this hoop, and this one, maybe we can stabilize you. Another hoop. We& #39;ll help you, but there are, er, hoops. Jump! Jump, asshole!"
"Do you feel unfailed yet? Jump higher, here comes a blockade!"
I will not check replies because I am a speeding train of anxiety, depression, all the other mental illnesses (OCD is raging), physical illness, a dog dying, shame, grief, despair and anger. I do not want to unleash this on anyone because I can& #39;t think rationally now.
And right now, welcome to my brain, I think of everyone as THE enemy, everything, every single thing around me is threatening, every thought ripping through my brain is painful, and I am holding a plastic sword.
Imagine living like this. Now stop and regard me as your cautionary tale in whatever way you need, and never become what I have. Ever. Okay? Okay.