I should have had an interview for an academic teaching job today. I pulled out (mini thread). Because we should talk about this shit.
My decision was 90% practical- commuting 2.5 hours each way and/or staying over. Bad enough anyway but also erm pandemic.

And it was (of course) a part-time contract, for 9 months. I don't want to get to 9 months' time (in a pandemic with mass unemployment) and end up in the same position, having also not made enough money to live off. I'm better off working in a shop frankly.

Pandemic aside for a moment, let's talk about how this is 'normal' and how I'm considered 'the problem' and how I 'Don't want it enough' for not taking it. Being expected to uproot/commute for a PT fixed-term job that wouldn't cover my bills. This is messed up.

We know this. Yet every time it comes up, I'm made to feel by academics as if 'well if you wanted it enough you would do it' well maybe. But honestly, utterly fuck that attitude, and fuck that system.
Also fuck the attitude of 'everything but academic' is failure

Because that's the attitude I get all the time, as if I'm 'waiting' for an academic job to come along like Cinder-fucking-rella (to quote my favourite film) and take me away from 'not academic' failure-dom.

Because I also dropped out because I don't feel good enough for academia. And maybe I'm not. And that's ok. I've had a cry about it now, again. But also it's not a binary 'academic or failure' and you don't have to sacrifice your whole life for it.

Also, fuck commuting that far for no money no job security in a pandemic. Or any time. End thread.