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#IndianMatchmaking is like porn for most woke people. Despite being hooked, one can’t be caught watching it and you need to pretend that you despise it. “Eeew, dad porn, so disgusting.” (1/n)
Over the past few days, I have seen more think pieces and analysis about Indian Matchmaking than about Covid 19. It’s like they want a vaccine to contain the spread of Indian Matchmaking more than Coronavirus. (2/n)
I’ll be honest, I loved the show. I was hooked right from minute 1, and I have no shame in requesting for a season 2. Is the show problematic? Reality is problematic. And this is a freaking reality show. How much more obvious can it get? (3/n)
The reality is that we aren't 1.3 billion woke people worried about clean energy and free speech. In fact, I'd have been offended if Sima Aunty was woke and spoke about choice, body positivity and clean energy during matchmaking. Because that is not true and it is not real. (4/n
Let me address the loudest grievance - the way people pick their partners in the show - participants having ridiculous demands in terms of appearance, money, ambition, career(or the lack of career) and caste. (5/n)
There is no other way to break this to you, but you do the exact same thing - just that you don't say it openly to Sima Aunty or make it obvious to the rest of the world. You just call it "same wavelength". (6/n)
Nobody is attracted to a loser. You will not settle down with someone who has no interests, passion or a career. I know so many liberal people reject women and men for bad English vocabulary, or for not being well groomed. (7/n)
If you pick someone who speaks English eloquently, is well groomed, well informed, well read, with good dressing sense and a solid personality, then it means they're well educated, appealing to the eye, privileged (English education, hello!), and doing well professionally. (8/n)
You don't use the word caste, but the list above and what you call as ‘wavelength’, is a by-product that is enabled because of the caste system. Just because you don’t see caste doesn’t mean you’re not discriminating. What is caste? It is segregation by social status. (9/n)
We don't categorise people by bloodline these days, but we subconsciously categorise people as "uncool", "educated", "classy", "crass", "rough around the edges", "LS", "too desi", "right wing" etc. (10/n)
Basically we have designed new categories to acceptably segregate people in terms of their social status these days. Being able to speak good English is a privilege, much like being Brahmin was a privilege in the past. (11/n)
Let’s do a little experiment. Look at your friends and the people you’ve dated - is there diversity there? What is the caste dynamics of your immediate friends group? Have you ever gone drinking with your watchman? Have you invited your maali over for lunch just to hang? (12/n)
If you met a charming, interesting and decent Uber driver, would you ask him/her out on a date? Will you date a person who is exceptionally brilliant but can’t speak English very well? You will not. And you will just put it down to “not the same wavelength”. (13/n)
Whether you like it or not, your usage of "wavelength" doesn't absolve you of social and racial discrimnation. You are playing to pre-existing societal constructs. (14/n)
No matter how much you despise the show, remember that even you have a list; one that’s not too different from the one you see on the show. And to be honest, I really prefer Akshay’s mom. She is wrong, but not a self righteous hypocrite. (15/15)
Full article available here:
#IndianMatchmaking https://medium.com/@devayeah/why-you-are-as-problematic-as-indian-matchmaking-3629db64994b
#IndianMatchmaking https://medium.com/@devayeah/why-you-are-as-problematic-as-indian-matchmaking-3629db64994b
