1/ I get tired of Democrats claiming to be on the “right side of history” when both their past and their present are so sordid and destructive. So, if you are a Democrat, let me tell you about MY side of history and YOUR side of history.

2/ My side of history is Cato the Elder, John Locke, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Irving Babbitt and William F. Buckley.

Your side of history is Thomas Hobbes, Karl Marx, Josef Stalin, Mao’s Little Red Book and Noam Chomsky.

3/ My side of history is George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump.

Your side of history is Tories who fled to Canada, Jefferson Davis, Woodrow Wilson, Bull Connor, George Wallace and Nancy Pelosi.

4/ My side of history is freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of religion and spirited debate.

Your side of history is ThoughtCrime, Speech Codes, religious persecution and Cancel Culture.

5/ My side of history is Brown v. Board of Ed., Loving v. VA, Gitlow v. NY, and Heller v. DC.

Your side of history is Dred Scott, Korematsu and Roe v. Wade.

6/ My side of history is Jackie Robinson.

Your side of history is Colin Kaepernick.

7/ My side of history is head held high, standing straight, hand over heart.

Your side of history is sullen glances at the ground, kneeling.

8/ My side of history is the rockets’ red glare.

Your side of history is imagine no religion.

9/ My side of history is firefighters going up the stairs into the Twin Towers.

Your side of history is 28-year-old men playing Call of Duty in their mothers’ basements.

10/ My side of history is smoked brisket.

Your side of history is a no-foam, no-sugar, soy latte.

11/ My side of history is Lincoln freeing the slaves and General Patton liberating Buchenwald.

Your side of history is Fort Sumter, the Gulag and Pol Pot’s killing fields.

12/ My side of history is Mel Brooks.

Your side of history is Amy Schumer.

13/ My side of history is all men and women are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights.

Your side of history is critical theory and only some lives matter.

14/ My side of history is 20-year-olds storming Omaha Beach.

Your side of history is 20-year-olds in their safe spaces with adult coloring books.

15/ My side of history is American men and women disabled by an IED.

Your side of history is American men and women disabled by anxiety.

16/ My side of history is the Kentucky Rifle, the Springfield 1861, the M1911, the M1 Garand, the M14 and the AR15.

Your side of history is whimpering submission.

17/ My side of history is Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers, Apollo 11 and Jonas Salk.

Your side of history is “global warming,” 100+ genders and porous cloth masks stopping viruses.

18/ My side is of history is laughing babies.

Your side of history is selling aborted baby parts on the open market.

19/ My side of history is the Sistine Chapel and Monet’s water lilies.

Your side of history is an inverted crucifix in a bottle of urine.

20/ My side of history is construction.

Your side of history is deconstruction.

21/ My side of history is civilization.

Your side of history is nihilism.

22/ And, MOST OF ALL:

My side of history is liberty.

Your side of history is tyranny.

*finis*