Saying “Not All Men” is basically a defensive attempt to say “I’m not the problem,” It’s natural to feel defensive and uncomfortable given often we’re not even aware of these larger patterns of violence and oppression, and the problems with how we’ve been raised to see women. We

might also feel guilty and horrified to find out that many of the women we love have experienced harassment or violence in some form and we had no idea. We have blind spots. And you understandably may not want to get lumped into a category of “violent men.” But instead of saying

“not all men,” which is unhelpful and distracting, it’s okay to sit with your discomfort with being unaware. There’s no need to defend you and make the discussion about yourself. Instead, try expressing empathy toward the person speaking to you. You can acknowledge that this is

new to you, you can share that you’d like to be an ally to women, and you can acknowledge that there are certain patterns and root causes for men’s violence against women that must be addressed.

“Not all men” is also a way of labelling women’s safety concerns as irrational, when in fact the vast majority of women have experienced abuse or harassment, and it is logical and reasonable to feel fearful. When women are sharing personal stories, instances of Gender based

Violence from friends or family, or have read on the news, and their pain around these issues, it is not an attempt at male bashing. It is highlighting an experience, even if it hasn’t been one that many men can relate to or are aware of. It’s an invitation to be part of a

dialogue considering most women on earth are negatively affected and a request to open your heart and empathise with these experiences and women’s understandable feelings of rage, sadness, fear, and overwhelm. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.deccanchronicle.com/amp/lifestyle/culture-and-society/191119/not-all-men-an-unproductive-response-while-addressing-gender-ba.html

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