The man who killed a federal judge’s son and shot her husband was a type that many women on the internet have been yelling about (seemingly into an endless void) for YEARS. https://www.thedailybeast.com/gunman-ambushes-nj-federal-judge-esther-salas-husband-mark-anderl-and-son-at-home?ref=home&via=twitter_page

What caught my eye was this seemingly innocuous line in the @thedailybeast story, this reference to “a compilation of misogynistic comments under the heading “jokes.””

Why?

Because many men bent on seeing women face violent consequences for, well, *existing*, know the system, and how to exploit it. They know that the criminal justice system is designed to dismiss women as dramatic or exaggerating.

“I know he wrote about raping and murdering you but do you REALLY think he will I mean come on he probably lives in his mom’s basement.”

“He probably just has a crush on you.”

“It was just an edgy joke.”

And surely there are times when that’s all true. And when, while terrifying, it’s not a criminal threat, or he does live in his moms basement, or he really DID mean he would only murder you in Minecraft, and not in real life.

But every woman who has encountered men like this online knows, and has known, that we are rolling the dice when we nod and say, ‘Yeah you’re right I’m sure he wouldn’t actually do it.’ We all know and have known some of them will.

We all want so badly to pretend that angry men who fantasize about murdering women won’t actually do it. But deep down I think we know that some of them absolutely will. And as women, especially women in 2020 on Twitter, we are just hoping it’s not us.