1/2As the UI debate moves forward it’s unnerving for me, because honestly I’ve never felt truly at home here, I mean it wasn’t set up for me to flourish. However even thought I feel Irish, I know my Irishness is inclusive of the North, our colloquialisms & history

2/ despite what people might say, this isn’t true of a lot, nay the majority of people’s view of Irishness on the other side of the border. This has always been my direct experience, the discourse of the Irish general election was so toxic for me to see

3/ any reference to here were used as a point of disgust and example of failure, never inclusivness or aspirations expressed to understand, reach out and I ‘lean in’. Any interest into the troubles waned as soon as the election was over.

4/ Covid has shown how many viewed us only as (irrationally given the data) as some sort of liability pathway for Covid into ‘Ireland’ . No concern for infections that may have been in the north, never “these tourists will come in and cause havoc on the island”

5/ I guess I’m saying; I find it hard to appeal to be accepted into an Ireland that may say flippantly at an exit poll that they want a united ireland but then in the practice of their every day lives, view us as a bunch of trouble that’s not anything to do with them

6/ and equally I find it hard to ever resign myself to be content in a place that was set up and clinically/strategically govern for many years, to hinder the prosperity of catholics. It’s hard to say, ok we started off bad but we won’t say sorry, and you have to accept it

7/ my grandfather had to work in Liverpool for many years and send money home. He used to cry leaving his children and cried years later when talking about it. Yes this poverty was everywhere but in the north it was intended for some. I find accepting this & buying into here hard

8/The whole Queens is cold house for unionists thing was something I sat back and observed and listened to. For me, I always felt out of place & looked down on there, but that was because on my way into the True Colors exhibit with my school, my work was exhibited

9/I was so excited, the school took our whole year up to see my work. I couldn’t believe it. On our way in, a boys shool was passing us as they exited, they spat at us and said “Jesus they let catholic’s in here” it landed on the floor at our feet

10/When your an anxious person who had already felt like they were an imposter, it made me feel so ashamed and for want of a better word “Low”. This stayed with me in Queens, I always felt like it was part of a heiriarchy that I would have to tone down my background to blend in

11/ more musings. I find it almost impossible to buy into a future being ruled by Westminster and linked to a country that gave a thumping mandate to a party that committed to actively frustrating the access to justice of families of state violence. The contempt laced into that

12/ anyway. Hot takes all round. Watch my follower count of people who are wholly committed to either side of the debate drop because; all in all, i feel like we are nobody’s child and can’t see any solution