I met a friend I had not seen in years. Looking at him holding his son, one would not suspect that we - both me & him - had conjured his girlfriend to abort. His uncle's sound counsel was his saving grace. But it came too late for me. They hold a son, as we hold heavy hearts.

When he informed his caretakers - uncle & aunt - the latter was implacable. But his uncle was in his sangfroid cloak. Uncle told my distraught friend, "it's not the end of your life. You're still a young man, you have a whole life ahead of you. This should not have to define you"

My friend was lucky. Most of us shuddered when we received that phone call. Our 1st thoughts were, "it will be the end of my life". We'd die before we informed our fathers. Fear was the only mentor we called on. Years later, one realizes there was absolutely no reason to fear.

That one's fate was not tied to the presence - or absence - of an offspring: That our burdens are not our mistakes, but our response to them. That fatherhood will not clip your wings, & if it does, then there were no wings to clip in the 1st place.

P.S. This thread is anecdotal