I've been reading food fiction through lockdown & isolation. It was a little surprise since I've never been either a foodie or an enthusiastic cook. Food has been fuel, a functional need at best.

In lockdown, I found myself needing nourishment of mind as well as body. My physical health has been decent these past few weeks. I realised some part of it is because I'm not eating outside food. Just some part of it.

It's not just the ingredients, it's the callousness of fellow diners who smoke, the impersonal touch of paid cooks, the self-esteem issues of dining companions that I can taste in every morsel I eat in those messy environs. My body & mind do not miss these.

People bring their truest selves to food and so much of that is self-esteem issues, power plays, insecurity, rage, hatred, escapism. At home, I'm only dealing with familiar dynamics of people I've known my whole life and food, similarly so.

A friend l posted a picture of her poached egg experiment which made me pipe up about mine. I'd been making my breakfast in a fog of irritation at the weather & confinement. Our chat made me think of the food reading I've liked, the ones I didn't.

I am soothed by thinking about the universality of food. It is a positive counterpoint to the negative universality of a virus that doesn't discriminate.

Thinking of food makes me feel connected to all human beings everywhere - our needs for nourishment, for protection, for affection, for validation, for community. I enjoyed stories about wholesome, comfort food and the joy taken in its making & eating.

I did not like reading about fashionable food circles, about toxic human politics brought onto the dining table. It feels wrong on a cellular level to poison the one thing that HAS to be wholesome.

I guess we also need air to be clean, our minds to navigate conversations that are enriching (not combative). We don't have these by default. It makes me surer about not glorifying rage, the importance of personal responsibility, gratitude over guilt.

This morning, I thought about these things instead of how my hair was sticking to the back of my neck. And the eggs turned out beautifully. After all, all things do well when shown care.

This thread is called A GOOD EGG and is also posted to Instagram here:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAo-OGnpMlO/?igshid=1f2rvfh2zqibw

Also enjoy a song as you read: ISN'T SHE LOVELY: New York Jazz Lounge https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBr604B7coAcbEYdF5mla?si=vWNlaYkESi-yjwrL4ZI1iQ