Thread by @Bisexual_Meg, [THREAD] The biases and stigma I have faced as someone who is [...]

Meg

Bisexual_Meg

[THREAD]
The biases and stigma I have faced as someone who is bi and ace are eerily similar, even though one of my identities is labelled as gluttonous and promiscuous, whilst the other is sex- repulsed, frigid

#ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike

The way our lived experiences are perceived demonstrates how my identities are interlinked, defying heteronormative expectations, and often approach my relationships in ways that break and rewrite pre-existing social scripts of normativity

Aphobia and biphobia are juxtaposed prejudices, rooted in the same heteronormativity & social hatred of non-conformity. As someone who is both ace & bi, I find myself in a unique position to illustrate how these identities are considered similar by the marginalisations we face

Expect a lot more talk about these parts of my identity, their intersections, my experiences, & general disavowal of the norms that forced me & many other people like me into hiding parts of ourselves bc they didn't coherently communicate with what we've been conditioned towards

Finding acceptance as a bi person in the LGBTQIA+ community is hard enough, but as an ace-spectrum bi you not only face accusations of straight privilege, but face being accused of not possessing a "real" alternative sexuality, because it's defined by a lack of sexual attraction

The suffix "sexual" implies sexual attraction so strongly that I frequently feel discomfort attaching it to myself. This is despite me constantly reminding people that sexuality is about WAY MORE than sex, and that intimacy can be incredibly broad

I even prefer "ace" over "asexual" for that reason. Just "bi" is better, but even that implies bisexuality rather than just biromanticism. I can't win. We can't win. We're overly-sexualised either way

Binary breakers and landscape shifters. This is how I have come to understand my identities. I've frequently experienced confusion hearing statements about my identities back-to-back of each other as they're so oppositional and just reinforce incredibly outdated stereotypes

These stereotypes perpetuate both biphobia and acephobia. I've internalised this. Y'all have internalised biphobia & acephobia. I want to reclaim the words "bisexual" and "asexual" for myself without feeling that deep internal ache that people will sexualise me without my consent

So all of this cumulatively presents me as what an asexual looks like. The complexities, the nuances, the stigmas and social fears. #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike and we need to do better as a community to tackle these issues

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