i think if i met A Single Trans Person from the age of 13-18 it's likely that i would have realized i was a girl much sooner rather than jerking off to TF/TG fetish porn for like 5 years before stumbling across a description of trans feelings which made me go "OH FUCK I'M TRANS?" https://twitter.com/SomeBWord/status/1285278102105526273

it's why so many people often struggle with thinking that their feelings are just a fetish because that's the only way that they've been able to explore them. this of course isn't actually true, however it is easy to get stuck in that phase if you don't know where it comes from.

a trans person has trans feelings even long before they are cognizant of this and have the words to describe it, which might seem obvious but it's important to recognize because it means there are latent feelings present that are unable to be consciously expressed and addressed.

so, what often happens is that the person's subconscious trans feelings guide them towards anything that stokes those feelings or lets them explore those feelings in some way (any media with themes of body swapping, for instance). the issue is that up until very recently, trans-

representation and visibility has been absolutely dogshit (although it still isn't great) so people often stumble across fetish content which they find themselves Weirdly Attracted To And Emotional About (gee, wonder why??). it's often the only way people have any sort of outlet-

for their trans feelings before they (hopefully) gain the words to describe them in a healthier environment. something else to consider is that the rush of finding any sort of validation or gender euphoria even for a mere instance often gets expressed as raw physical pleasure-

since, when someone lacks the words to express themselves, that's one of the only ways they know how. that and it can be a huge rush in the beginning to finally have a MOMENT where things maybe feel a bit more "right" for once, so that's why people sometimes report getting horny-

when trying gender-affirming clothes for the first time, but that has the double edged sword of making them feel shame that they're some sort of weird fetishist due to how much internalized transphobia gets picked up by nature of living in a cisnormative society. how obnoxious!

but, there're ways to get out of this cycle of shame. what i always tell people who are worried that it's "just a fetish" is to examine if they ONLY have trans-related thoughts when they are horny or if they have them other times too. if the latter, then clearly it's not a fetish

i often suggest they imagine themselves at the bank or at the grocery store and see if they'd rather present differently even while doing something as innocuous and boring as that.

once you understand the origins of where those thoughts come from and then what questions to ask,-

it becomes much easier to answer the "is this just a fetish?" question. besides, that question only serves to act as repression tool because as long as it remains unanswered, someone doesn't have to ask any further questions about themselves. it's understandable, but not healthy.