Remember that Twitter thread that was all, "My mom taught me something very important and it's that I can always leave if I want to?"

I'm thinking about that b/c in it, there's a tweet that says her mom asked, "What do you need so you can leave?"

And I'm just thinking of all the people who were in abusive situations (me) who had parents and family who never said, "What do you need so you can leave?"

I'm thinking of the millions, probably billions of people, who never have anyone ask, "What do you need so you can leave?"

I'm thinking of how, socially, it's so expected that anyone who wants to leave will just do it, even if they have *nothing* they need so they can leave. And this makes people say, "Well, she stays with him!" so that when abuse continues, it's her fault, not her abuser's.

Instead of asking, "What do you need so you can leave?" people say, "I'm so sorry that's happening to you," "I don't want what happened to you to happen to me," "It embarrasses him when you point it out," and God forbid anyone would look upon abusive behavior as abusive.

I wonder how different things would've turned out for me and my kids if anyone had asked, "What do you need so you can leave?" instead of told me to "let it go," that I was "not a victim as defined by the law," that I needed to "stop with the drama" when I didn't start it.

"What do you need so you can leave?" ... "And stay gone? And heal up? And take good care of yourself? And set yourself up for a happy, healthy life with your children?"

"What do you need?"

Such a simple way to show support but so rare to get in these situations.