I always worry how my heart will handle helping patients in a mental health crisis. When you’ve experienced your own it hurts to see it reflected and playing out in another person’s life.

I couldn’t even finish the second to last episode of Ozark and refused to watch the last one. Ben begging not to be sent to the hospital is something you can’t understand unless you’ve been there.

It’s not lost on me that this month is #BIPOCMentalHealthMonth, formerly #MinorityMentalHealthMonth.

Some of the attitudes, stigmas, and “jokes” flying around are exactly why mental health reform is going to be such a challenge and why our mental health system is a fucking joke today.

Maybe it’s really activation of the humor self-defense and everyone is really scared of their own mental acuity. Or, maybe people are just trash goblins.

Either way, know that folx who have been in serious mental health crisis and have actually been hospitalized see your shit. And aren’t laughing. Because it’s personal and it is now embedded in our morals and values, so it’s not just jokes. It’s ethics and principles.

As open as I am about my own mental health, I have spent many, MANY nights crying due to rejection, stigmatization, and downright cruelty from a lot of folx. And guess who gets to see all of that? My family. My Mom. My God.

It HURTS to be treated the way some folx are treating this situation. People have shunned me, rejected me, mocked me, taken advantage of me, and abandoned me because of my mental health. As if I WANT to be this way!! And wouldn’t be “normal” in a snap if I could!!

Like, are YOU mental?? You think going to hospitals, taking meds, and doing literally soul rehabilitation (therapy) every week is FUN for me/us?? Especially when it comes to trying to heal from trauma?? TF, I want to be normal, too!!

I don’t want to be 35, living at home, dealing with anxiety so bad I can’t leave the house, and an enduring legacy of trauma that has literally ripped away my job, my apartment, my independent life I worked so hard to build.

I’m ashamed of myself, my illnesses (sometimes), and how much it’s impacted my life versus the lives I see everyone else leading.

So, before you pop off that hoke or make a shitty ass remark, think...does this do a major disservice to folx who have been there? And are most likely close to breaking down because everything is awful and we’re in the midst of/going to have a mental health pandemic??

Or, just shut TF up? Perhaps?