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I feel really strongly about this. Anyone who IS a stepparent or HAS a (hopefully high quality) stepparent knows how integral they are in the lives of children of divorced families. https://twitter.com/_anonymoustits/status/1285313308334141443">https://twitter.com/_anonymou...
These kids have had enough hurt, they don’t need the external invalidation of the role of their stepparent. I’ve dealt with, first hand, how hard it is for the stepparent and more importantly, the child to feel sadness from the blatant dismissal of a stepparent by a bioparent.
Kids know who their bioparents are. They also can’t help who they love. The goal of most stepparents is not to replace bioparent but to supplement kids’ lives. Stepparents often do JUST as much as bioparents but are shortchanged in the rest of the perks of ‘being a parent.’
“Well you’re not a real parent”
“You‘ll never be their real mom/dad!” “Don’t forget you’re not a real mom/dad!”
“This event is for parents only.”
“You‘ll never be their real mom/dad!” “Don’t forget you’re not a real mom/dad!”
“This event is for parents only.”
Be kind to the stepparents you know. They put in the same hours as bioparents and often times get crumbs of thanks in return. If you’re an active stepparent, you are a parent. End of discussion. You are a mom. You are a dad. Birthing a child is not the only way to become one.
Never let anyone make you feel invalidated for how hard being a stepparent is by saying you aren’t a ‘real’ parent. Chances are, they have absolutely no idea what it’s like. Be the best parent you can be to the child(ren) in your life, and you have succeeded.
Bioparents, find it in your hearts to see that stepparents chose to love and care for your children. If they really are doing that, that is a feat, and you should rest easy knowing your child has another wonderful figure in their lives.
