We need to have a little chat about parasocial relationships. A serious chat.

Parasocial interaction=psychological relationship experienced by an audience in their mediated encounters w/ performers in the mass media, particularly on television. People come to consider media personalities as friends, despite having limited interactions with them.

Many of you have people in your personal lives whom you love and respect despite the fact you disagree with them on a number of different things.

But....you might have a more visceral reaction to people on social media with small platforms like mine or those with true celebrity status. It might mean that you feel greater disappointment or cringing shame when I or they do something that you personally disagree with.

There is an ancient African American saying, "You don't know me like that." What that means is we have boundaries despite the fact they may not seem apparent and that boundary begins with neither one of us are mind readers and just because I and others share our opinions....

It doesn't mean you have access to the personal universe inside of us by which we come to form an opinion.

Unless someone clearly has a set of viewpoints I feel are untenable, I listen to diverse voices on social media. Most of them are progressive and pro issues I care about.

However if you're smart, you will also have folks in your social media with whom maybe 25% of the time you disagree adamantly with on certain matters.

The past few years have been flashpoint after flashpoint. Its exhausting for all of us.

Many times I don't get involved because someone (s) who I have a parasocial relationship with will nudge me and say, "Aww man you're scaring me or I'm not going to like you if..."

Think twice before you say that to me.

First, DM me.
Second know that I will hear you out but don't talk at me. Let's have a conversation not a conversion session.
Third..don't be offended if we still disagree.
Fourth...context context context let that be the takeaway.

Recently I have been gently called to task for
1. Retweeting The Lincoln Project anti-Trump vids (this wasn't so gentle...it was suggested I made a "fucked up" decision...
2. Suggesting that the spate of odd violence&political intrigue affecting high power cases is troubling.

Do you want the real me or an edited version that suits your fantasy of who I am?
Everybody is problematic to everyone else at some point. That's a given. Our families are a clear example of this. This will never change.
If u "don't know me like that" how much more true is this?

It's okay to disagree. But let's be clear. I am at peace that nothing in this plane of existence is perfectly ok with me or others.
Strive to have parasocial relationships where you understand context and not just surface, system and not just symbolism.

And interaction with someone on a platform like this doesn't mean you have a license to police or curtail someone's vision or voice. It means you have a choice to follow or unfollow. It means you have a right to ask to clarify or ask questions not dictate or determine.