Thread by @saOlsen_, i wanted to weigh in on public schools and how they affect, [...]

i wanted to weigh in on public schools and how they affect, um, & #39;unconventional& #39; children and teens.

i was a gifted, straight-a kid until i got hit with depression. i was diagnosed with depression at uh, 11? 12?

in retrospect, i realize that my mental illness was the reason i felt like i couldn& #39;t keep up with the other kids.

the stress from school *deeply* influenced this. i felt like the idiot in the gifted program, like it was some kind of mistake that i was there. so the gifted kids sort of left me out, and the non-gifted kids didn& #39;t like me much either

in other words, the environment was so hostile & alienating & distracting that it was difficult to learn. which is what you go to school for, right

fast forward to when i was in high school. this part is kind of hard to talk about.

i was 15 when i started hallucinating. panic attacks. paranoia. to the point where i would hide under the seat of the bus because i was fully convinced people were coming to kill me.

i was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

the school was *terrible* at handling it. i failed high school geometry because they told me to stop working on it, i could just take it online over the summer, but later changed their minds and went "oh no we& #39;re not offering that over the summer now"

one time i went to the school nurse in the middle of a paranoid episode (i had some awareness, at some times, that it wasn& #39;t real) -- i showed them my psychologist& #39;s business card to try to explain what was going on

the vice principal searched me & my bag for drugs

eventually in senior year, i attended school for like 2 weeks and then just. stopped. it was all too much. i was hospital/homebound all year. other students apparently thought i died. i was okay with this.

i had a tutor come to my house 2 hours a week, 2 times a week. he basically gave me a bunch of work to do on my own and we went over anything i was struggling with.

without any distractions, being able to focus purely on learning, i got straight A& #39;s for the first time in years.

*furthermore*, my mental illness got a lot better. i didn& #39;t have to stress out about being around other people. the environment felt a lot more controlled and comfortable.

eventually, my mental health issues... sort of went away. well, schizophrenia doesn& #39;t just. go away.

my diagnosis was changed to "major depression with psychotic features", and i absolutely believe that the stress of school contributed to this for me

they didn& #39;t let me come back to school after i left. i wasn& #39;t allowed to show up to get my work. my mom had to go alone to pick up the packets.

i wasn& #39;t even allowed to attend my graduation. they said that if i was too disabled to come to school, i was too disabled for that too

tl;dr: public school sucks if you aren& #39;t a completely healthy "normal" (ugh) kid, and some kids learn better in independent environments and should absolutely be given the opportunity to do so

it may be worth noting that i have not had any psychotic issues since just after i finished high school and was able to wean myself off of abilify a few months later (with lots of dr& #39;s visits). I still have mental health issues, but not of that type.

oh and one more thing: the tutor always assigned me my work for the week

i finished the week& #39;s work in a *few hours* after he left

school does not need to be 6+ hours a day, 5x a week!

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