I’ve played this game since the English release on ps2 in 2004 and I still play it to this day.
I have weighed the connections I’ve made in the game higher than real life connections many times. This game is beautiful but fuck

For one of the first times I stared at my screen this morning and felt nothing. Just felt like a zombie. This game has always been there when I needed some sort of escape and I will always have fond memories of it but holy shit this game is an addiction

During the 16 years of playing ffxi I’ve always just been content skimming by through life doing the bare minimum as long as it didn’t affect me getting home and sitting in a room by myself and just being wired into this game

The whole video of this guy explaining his experience playing 11 really hit me. Specifically, “One of these days your life is going to start... but not today” I’ve said that to myself multiple times and it really wasn’t until two days ago where I was just sitting in a creek

Watching a group of friends be happy and decompressing together where I was like “damn, all these loving people are around and enjoying life yet here I am only thinking about what I need to do when I get home to catch back up on the two days I couldn’t play online”

I don’t regret playing 11 or meeting the people I did through it but I do regret the countless times I’ve blown off friends reaching out to do so. I’ve ruined many potential friendships because I would just think , “ well I have this game so nothing else matters”

I guess what I’m getting at is I don’t know why it took this long to see this game has been siphoning my life and creating this sense of boredom or dullness to what the real world has to offer.

So if anyone ever wants to just bike or hike or do anything for that matter please hit me up to do so. I think it’s truly time I “start my life” without being so digitally destructive