as a lesbian, i want to discuss why "nonlesbian" is/can be a harmful term and why you shouldn't say it anymore (thread below)

notes:
before i get into this: this is a repost of a poorly-worded thread i made yesterday. i have since taken it down and have rewritten most of the points i made in the original thread. to all those who were hurt by my poor wording, i sincerely apologize.

i am nonblack but i have taken all my information from black people and bi people who feel the term nonlesbian is racist and biphobic, and i've asked my black and bi friends if i was overstepping. they said no and even helped me make this thread.
with that said, let's begin.

1) it co-opts the term nonblack. nonblack was created by black ppl to use when articulating the oppression they experience from every other race. (source below) just like "nonasian/nonlatino," nonlesbian as a term is a direct appropriation of nonblack. +

2) you may think "but nonlesbian is a similar term to articulate the oppression we face from everyone else!" i'm here to tell you that that's biphobic! gay/bi/pan ppl cannot *systematically* oppress lesbians because we are on the same axis of oppression. +

from the National Equity Project: Systematic oppression is the intentional disadvantaging of groups of people based on their identity while advantaging members of the dominant group (gender, race, class, sexual orientation, language, etc.). https://nationalequityproject.org/resources/featured-resources/lens-of-systemic-oppression +

lesbophobia is 100% real, but at the end of the day bi ppl will never have systemic privilege over a lesbian just for being bi. using the term nonlesbian groups bi wlw in with their oppressors (cishets); therefore it cannot be the same as nonblack in any context. +

3) the origins of the term nonlesbian are 100% biphobic. this excerpt from Lesbian Contradiction states that bi wlw have access to straight privilege and cannot be affected by homophobia, and that bi ppl "choose" to be attracted to the opposite gender. https://icouldbeherbeacon.tumblr.com/post/623366569504997376/from-bisexuality-and-the-challenge-to-lesbian

in case you don't know, Lesbian Contradiction was a journal/periodical whose first edition came out in 1982. we stopped using the all-pink lesbian flag for our community because of its origins/ creator. the term nonlesbian shouldn't be any different!! +

"but how are we supposed to talk about lesbian-specific issues/complain about lesbophobes?" easy. say "this is a lesbian-specific issue." say "cishets/lesbophobes need to stop (x)." it's not hard to work a racist, biphobic term out of your vernacular, i promise you. +

"how am i supposed to talk about the lesbian experience?" say "this is unique to lesbians/this is something ppl who aren't lesbians won't experience." remember that bi women and lesbians have a shared history dating back decades; many (NOT all) of our experiences are similar. +

in the context of phrases such as "nonlesbians are so annoying," more often than not the term is being used as an underhanded jab towards bi women. bi women do not have inherent privilege. if you want to complain about lesbophobia from gbt ppl, say lesbophobes. +

4) finally, trans bi wlw exist! they have said that it makes them uncomfortable when a cis lesbian implies that they have more power than her structurally. it's really fucked up!!

this is the end of the thread. if you genuinely only want to use nonlesbian as a way to talk about your unique experiences as a lesbian, that's your right to do so. if you use nonlesbian to complain abt lesbophobes or to call bi women annoying, that's where the line is drawn.