By the time my writing partner and I were let go from #H50 (our “one and done” year, as all writers of color on H50 had), Peter and the atmosphere he had created had destroyed all self-confidence and self-worth I had. And for months I blamed myself. https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/07/the-fall-of-a-cbs-showrunner

I blamed myself for not being strong enough to handle the “tough boss”. Even though THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY of tv writers of color had warned me this is what Peter was famous for - devaluing you, destroying your worth, gaslighting you until there’s nothing left.

He was (and his) famous for abusing his work staff within the limits. It’s a mental death by a thousand cuts. And we knew CBS HR has spent TEN YEARS covering for his behavior. You know what that says to the abused? That abusers like Peter have more value than we do.

I remember a story I was told about Peter after I left. When a known writer was outed at CBS after 20 years of abuse.

He didn’t talk about the victims. He lamented that the writer’s impressive legacy was now tarnished. That everyone forgot about the great work he’d done.

Men like Peter claim to want to listen and then send lawyers like Dale Kinsella to shut the victims up. They’ll put the blame for the behavior on other people. And they’ll surround themselves with people who enable and excuse their behavior, who’ll discount victims for - what?

My thoughts aren’t focused. I’m still fucking stunned that Peter Lenkov, the boogeyman that women and writers of color warned each other about every staffing season, is fucking outed.

It took ten years and one white dude who was determined to use his privilege the right way.

If more white men had had a fraction of the courage that @lucastill has, maybe this reign of abuse wouldn’t have lasted so long.

This is what it means for white guys to stand up and use their privilege to shield the rest of us. I will give this man a kidney any day.

It took a job with a truly incredible and supportive showrunner (thanks, @AlexiHawley), months of therapy and lots of love from friends to put myself back together again. I hope no one goes through what I did. But people will because Peter is one of many.

There are plenty that are shit talking the people who came forward in the article. Fuck ‘em. Out ‘em.

The cost of keeping a showrunner on should not and never be the well-being and careers of dozens of people.

If there is

- any kind of legacy to be had here, let it be this:

An abusive showrunner who was protected by his studio for years, until he was outed. And because he was outed, more abusive assholes were too. And his victims were able to keep their careers, and the abusers were not.

The end