I've seen a lot of folks mourning their 20s lately. Then I saw a person post that since they were turning 35 they were now basically 40 (not in a good way). And so your resident 42-year-old fat person would like to say a thing about aging.

When people talk about the generation wars, they usually focus on Millenials versus Boomers and have some kind of hot take about dead/dying industries or aging workers being pushed out. But they don't seem to explicitly state that this reinforces the Supremacy Of Youth.

By that, I mean: a cultural framework of youth obsession props up the idea that the only time you will ever be worth anything is in your 20s. (This is especially funny given the Millenials I know who are reaching 40 but generational math is not America's cultural strong suit.)

There is a tremendous amount of pressure on people to look youthful, to act youthful, to focus all of our energy and consumer dollars on the appearance of youth.

This is expensive and exhausting but it's also distracting.

Every five or six years, some thin journalist who has never dieted will diet and then write a piece about how awful it is, how much obsessive energy it takes and how terrible they felt. None of these articles are news to fat people - but they do underscore how body fascism works.

Keep people so focused on an impossible goal (complying with an increasingly narrow body standard, denying the linear progress of time) that they never have the time, mental energy, or physical capability to revolt. Bonus points if people police themselves and each other.

There is so much super ultra plus terribleness going on in the world right now. That doesn't actually mean any of the usual social pressures are taking time off. In fact, many people will feel them more intensely, looking for ways to grasp any sense of control over our lives.

Then there's the general depressive zeitgeist that no one has much of a future to look forward to at this point.

So I don't think you are bad or wrong or a failure or anything like that if you are out here talking about your life is over because you are 25 or 29 or 35 or any other particular age. But what I will say is that those feelings are not actually reflective of your value.

Your life is not over. You relevance and worth as a person are not over. Life is all a hundred things happening at the same time and you are going to keep on experiencing that. There will be a lot of bullshit but also really amazing things that you could not imagine previously.

Your body will change. A body that conforms to an oppressive arbitrary social ideal does not define your worth as a human. Nor does it define your identity. A changing body is not the end of you experiencing the world.

If you already live in a body that doesn't conform, you might actually be in for some relief! People complain about being invisible when they age, but that also comes with a certain freedom. Embrace it! Be the person you want to be!

I am not suggesting that getting older always feels like receiving a million blowjobs or whatever hyperbolic metaphor you want to insert here. But neither did being in a 20-year-old body, frankly. Every body is different and how you experience aging is going to reflect that.

At the end of the day, you could not pay me to be in my 20s again. Well. Probably you could if it were enough money. You don't have to dread the upcoming phases of your life, not because of the number that makes up your age.

Despair over aging is a lie that isolates us from each other and from our sense of ownership of the future. Stay invested in making the world a better place - how you work towards that might change but you can absolutely keep doing the work.

Keep doing the things you love. Write fanfiction. Wear clothes you love. Spend time with the people you love in whatever way you can. Getting older doesn't bar you from any of these things.

I just want you to know that getting older can actually be pretty amazing. You have more time to know yourself and what's important to you. You have more opportunity to figure yourself out. I promise, it can be really good. And happy birthday, whatever age you are turning.