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i've decided today is the day to say one of my most strongly held, most likely to lose me a whole bunch of (academic twitter) followers so let's go! as much as i enjoy medieval twitter (and its a lot) i can't enjoy it. the prof who ended my PhD career w/o cause was one of theirs
i talked about it TOO MUCH over these last yrs, & no one from those circles inquired seriously, no one amplified, no one tried. so when i see these discussions about improving the state of the field (only adjacent to my own, so who tf am i) i just wonder. how serious are they
what i wanted when i this first happened was a transformative story: where bc i could no longer work in my own field i would pick up the field of the person who hated me, & thrive. eventually, my name would be clear through some book i would write. great story right?
it's not a good idea bc i have zero responsibility to triumph over other peoples sexism/ableism. my job is to be kind, grow vegetables, read books, that's it. but i would like to have felt, in that early time when i wanted it, that it was possible. that doors were open.
i also want that for anyone else that Professor Malegam (of Duke University) might be currently making feel less than
also, yes, the first sentence of this thread doesn't totally make sense. that's bc, 4 yrs after the fact, i still get v panicky when i talk about it. it was genuinely terrifying and i never want to go through anything like it again.
