Ok so I have some thoughts about the extrovert shaming (? Not sure the right word but shaming prob fits best?) and I think I’ve finally figured out how to articulate it. Note this is not intended to start an argument but just as a point of view/explanation. 1/

. @revstacey put it well earlier: “I just don't get why we can't say introverts have strengths without trashing extroverts. I spend a TON of energy toning down & altering expectations for introverts, yet somehow I'm an energy vampire.” And that made it click for me. 2/

I’ve said many times the world feels made for introverts and I know many folks disagree, but my whole life I’ve been told my value, my goodness, my acceptability comes in being as small as possible, in taking up as little space as possible. 3/

“Don’t talk so much” “you have too many opinions” “why do you want to hang out so much?” “Let someone else in the class have a chance to answer” “be quiet, ___ is trying to concentrate” “it’s immature to not prefer alone time” “you are too needy” etc etc. 4/

We (extroverts, but especially extroverted women) hear message after message after message about how we are too much and it makes us too hard to love, too hard to be friends with, to exhausting to care for, etc. And when you’ve heard it your whole life, you get worn down. 5/

So that’s why it’s hard to just laugh it off when people make jokes about how needy and exhausting extroverts are. We KNOW you find us needy and exhausting. We’ve been told our whole lives how needy and exhausting we are and have well internalized that shame, don’t worry. 6/

It just feels like there should be room to say “introverts and extroverts have different life perspectives and strengths” without trashing one side or the other. The characterization of one type as “bad” is gross and idk why it’s “acceptable” to do it for extroverts. 7/

Personally it’s jarring for me bc I see all these messages about how needy/exhausting introverts are & we should stop reaching out so much & then I go to therapy & watch my therapist bang her head against a wall BEGGING me to feel comfortable reaching out or stating my needs. 8/

So, when we push back against being called “energy vampires” or being told we’re needy and exhausting, it’s because even when we try our best to make ourselves small it still doesn’t feel like enough and that sucks. Not that we “can’t take a joke.” 9/

And bc this is Twitter and everyone’s always looking for a fight I feel like I have to reiterate that this is not looking for argument or to slam introverts. Not to play the “I have introverted friends” card but like literally ALL of my friends are introverts and I love them. 10/

I just wanted to offer the perspective that you maybe don’t see, that we aren’t just “annoying immature party people” but people who are just trying to figure out how to exist in a world that literally tells us to be smaller and exist more quietly. 11/

So, TL;DR - introverts are wonderful and we love y’all, but if you could please please please stop reminding extroverts how much you hate us it would really be swell. And in return we promise to use our loudness to make sure nobody trashes you either. 12/12