I wish for this anhedonia period to just get over. Life is incredibly bland at the moment with no taste at all, it feels like a black and white picture not even a black and white movie. I have zero energy/desire/interest in doing anything or interacting with anyone.

If i do, it's only out of obligation and trying not to be disrespectful and after the exam, I just haul my ass home and idle/sleep for the rest of the day thinking about the dreams/goals that I want to pursue and work for but lack the energy/excitement for its execution.

My emotions are also at a weird standstill. I don't experience joy, sadness, anger or frustration at all. (Which does help with finals since i'm not stressed at all, I simply don't want to study or do anything really) but at the same time I don't get angry when I'm misunderstood-

or sad when someone is sick or is dying even if it's a relative which is a very fucked up thing on its own. I might be just sickly fucked up as it is. I know that this is a lot of negative and messed up shit but this is not intended in anyway. I'm merely conversing with myself.-

This does help me cope with these kinds of situations. Ranting on notes or by writing is not as effective in healing as it is on twitter (currently). I do not wish for anyone to interact with this thread, simply ignore it and I hope none reach this point of the thread anyways.

I'll be deleting this after a while. On a different note, I've sort of developed a slight interest in writing and have already come up/day-dreamed about a few novel ideas. Hopefully I'll start writing them after graduation and see how it goes.