Zaddies of Musical Theatre Ranked: A Thread
You can hardly throw a stone on the subway platform without hitting a Zaddy right before someone yells at you, âHey, why are you throwing stones at that Zaddy?â
It is truly the Zaddy Renaissance. A New Zawn, if you will.
You can hardly throw a stone on the subway platform without hitting a Zaddy right before someone yells at you, âHey, why are you throwing stones at that Zaddy?â
It is truly the Zaddy Renaissance. A New Zawn, if you will.
Theatre People have always venerated Zaddies (sexy men of a certain age who look like they have a cedar chest devoted to shawl collar sweaters & also probably wouldnât shy away from throwing you around a bit)
We just call them Baritones. Or Anti-heroes. Or Brian Stokes Mitchell
We just call them Baritones. Or Anti-heroes. Or Brian Stokes Mitchell
10: The Phantom of the Opera
Is he a stalker? Yes. Does he gaslight the ingenue into thinking he controls her voice before dragging her down to his basement apartment where he forces her to scream high eâs? Also yes. But that cape! That hat! That pipe organ. Plus he owns a boat!
Is he a stalker? Yes. Does he gaslight the ingenue into thinking he controls her voice before dragging her down to his basement apartment where he forces her to scream high eâs? Also yes. But that cape! That hat! That pipe organ. Plus he owns a boat!
9: Daddy Warbucks
I know what youâre thinking: war profiteering is so unsexy. But somewhere within Daddy Warbucks beats a heart as shiny as his head. Not to mention he altruistically employed dozens of dancing maids and butlers during the Depression!
I know what youâre thinking: war profiteering is so unsexy. But somewhere within Daddy Warbucks beats a heart as shiny as his head. Not to mention he altruistically employed dozens of dancing maids and butlers during the Depression!
8: Javert
Everyone deserves someone who loves them as much as Javert loves The Law. While he might seem high falutin& #39; what with his fancy coats & bad poetry about stars, he is down to earth, having devoted his life to Justice for Bread, which I find to be very relatable, tbh
Everyone deserves someone who loves them as much as Javert loves The Law. While he might seem high falutin& #39; what with his fancy coats & bad poetry about stars, he is down to earth, having devoted his life to Justice for Bread, which I find to be very relatable, tbh
7: Persephone
Thatâs right, anyone can be a Zaddy. Itâs called Femism... ever heard of it?? Anyone who can believably deliver a number in which they repeatedly ask âwhatâs my name?â deserves the title of Zaddy. And that voicceeee bb.
Thatâs right, anyone can be a Zaddy. Itâs called Femism... ever heard of it?? Anyone who can believably deliver a number in which they repeatedly ask âwhatâs my name?â deserves the title of Zaddy. And that voicceeee bb.
6: Sweeney Todd
Listen, there is no rule that says you need to be a good Daddy to be a good Zaddy. Just because one murders people and bakes them into pies and then almost kills their own daughter because sheâs wearing a hat or whatever doesnât mean they donât fuck.
Listen, there is no rule that says you need to be a good Daddy to be a good Zaddy. Just because one murders people and bakes them into pies and then almost kills their own daughter because sheâs wearing a hat or whatever doesnât mean they donât fuck.
5: Jefferson
Hamilton is a veritable Feast of Zaddies. But only one guy elicited an âItâs happening!â from me when he entered at the top of Act 2, & that was Jefferson. What was happening, exactly? Why did I punch my friend in the arm? I couldnât tell you, but @DaveedDiggs did it
Hamilton is a veritable Feast of Zaddies. But only one guy elicited an âItâs happening!â from me when he entered at the top of Act 2, & that was Jefferson. What was happening, exactly? Why did I punch my friend in the arm? I couldnât tell you, but @DaveedDiggs did it
4: @RaulEEsparza in anything heâs in rly
Like many other Theater People, the first time I heard RaĂșl Esparza sing âIâm your new commanderâ on the Rocky Horror OBC recording, I instantly became a woman.
Actually, sidebar.
Like many other Theater People, the first time I heard RaĂșl Esparza sing âIâm your new commanderâ on the Rocky Horror OBC recording, I instantly became a woman.
Actually, sidebar.
When RaĂșl took over as the Emcee in Cabaret, my Dad went to the box office to get tickets and he was all, âListen, is RaĂșl Esparza going to be in this tonight because I have a 14 year old whoâs pretty much a ball of puberty and it frightens me.â
Well, guess what fam?
Well, guess what fam?
RaĂșl called out and I sat in the middle of Studio 54 weeping, blue Claireâs mascara running down my face. Now, I watch old episodes of SVU on Hulu, tweet some fanfic about Barba singing âTroubleâ to the jury and wistfully whisper, âOh Zaddy, what might have been.â
Anyhoozle...
Anyhoozle...
3: Coalhouse Walker
âWhat does a Zaddy sound like?â I hold up my phone & play Ragtime in its entirety. âWhy donât you spring for Spotify Premium?!â You cry. âThe songs arenât even in the right order!â Again Iâd press my finger to your lips âShhh.â I whisper. âZaddy is singing.â
âWhat does a Zaddy sound like?â I hold up my phone & play Ragtime in its entirety. âWhy donât you spring for Spotify Premium?!â You cry. âThe songs arenât even in the right order!â Again Iâd press my finger to your lips âShhh.â I whisper. âZaddy is singing.â
2: Emile de Beque
Waves crash onto a moonlight beach. âWar is bad,â you whisper to Emile de Becque. âOui. War, eet eez pas bien.â He replies, tightening his embrace. âZaddy, eet sounds like a French word, non?â he asks you. âOui.â You answer. âOuiâ he says. Then you make out.
Waves crash onto a moonlight beach. âWar is bad,â you whisper to Emile de Becque. âOui. War, eet eez pas bien.â He replies, tightening his embrace. âZaddy, eet sounds like a French word, non?â he asks you. âOui.â You answer. âOuiâ he says. Then you make out.
And finally...
1: CvT, bb!
Listen, Iâm no sociologist, but I have a theory: Captain von Trapp is the original Zaddy. He sits at the top of the Zaddy tree: the source from which all other Zaddies spring eternal. Captain von Trapp is Zaddy Pangea.
1: CvT, bb!
Listen, Iâm no sociologist, but I have a theory: Captain von Trapp is the original Zaddy. He sits at the top of the Zaddy tree: the source from which all other Zaddies spring eternal. Captain von Trapp is Zaddy Pangea.
In Pre-K, I didnât know what Nazis were, but the lizard part of my Jewish baby brain saw Christopher Plummer ripping that swastika flag in half and went, âYes. That.â
âYou may call me⊠Captain.â Um, okay. That smolder. That uniform. That whistle.
âYou may call me⊠Captain.â Um, okay. That smolder. That uniform. That whistle.
This strict military man hires a musical virgin and, after a couple of months, heâs transformed into a goofball that likes puppet shows.
BTW. The puppets in The Lonely Goatherd are actual goats. What are the implications there?)
BTW. The puppets in The Lonely Goatherd are actual goats. What are the implications there?)
There are 2 types of Theatre People: the type that fall in love w/Captain von Trapp when they are young & impressionable, & goddamn liars.
All hail Captain von Trapp. Our One True Zivine Zaddy.
All hail Captain von Trapp. Our One True Zivine Zaddy.
Anyway, my quarantine is going just swimmingly, thank you for asking.