Submissives: you are *always* allowed:
- to ask your dominant/top/etc. questions,
- to state your boundaries & limits, & to have them respected
- to express your preferences
- to give feedback

If your dominant/top/lord high doodah etc. won't accept this, get out or seek help
1/

Communication is essential for healthy kink. This applies to all types of D/s dynamic.

So, if someone says "you don't get to give feedback in a 24/7 TPE", they're wrong!
If someone says, "you don't get to ask questions in DD/lg", they're wrong!

You can *always* speak out!
2/

D/s dynamics can have *negotiated & consensual* protocols for feedback & questions but the opportunity to give feedback/ ask questions must be always there.

And protocol can *always* be broken if matters are serious or there's an emergency.

Open communication is essential!

3/

As an aside to the In Our Dynamic, We NEVER Break Protocol crowd, imagine the following scenario:
-dom/me orders sub not to move at all unless specifically ordered to do so
-dom/me then trips on a banana skin and is knocked unconscious
-sub sensibly breaks protocol & helps


4/

There will always be communication (and other) needs that are more important than the requirements of protocol, whether they relate to a banana skin or something that's much less of a comedy stereotype

24/7 TPEs are wonderful but they also have to be practical
[Aside ends]
5/

So, whether at the start of a relationship or during one, if someone doesn't let you express your preferences, let you state your boundaries or give you the opportunity to renegotiate boundaries (i.e. "I don't like that activity anymore), get out fast or get help from a friend
6/

Equally, if you've stated your preferences and soft/hard limits, but they are not being respected, get out or get help. Now.

Better safe than sorry.

7/

And while an dominant, top or caregiver who is unable to accept questions or feedback may not seem as serious a situation, actually it pretty much is.

Your views as their sub/bottom/little etc. matter. *You matter*

You have a voice and deserve to be listened to.

8/

And a dominant/top/caregiver/lord grand high alpha wolf beast doodah who doesn't care about your voice, your views, your questions and your feedback, doesn't care that much about you. It's a major red flag.

You're a person, not a blank slate for someone's D/s fantasies.

9/

Aside no. II: yes, some people *love* the idea of being a blank slate for someone's D/s fantasies. But acting out such a fantasy still requires discussion, stating limits and having them respected, informed consent, assessment of risk and *good, open, two-way communication*

10/

(well, 'two-way' or however many people plan to be involved in that particular fantasy, whichever is appropriate)

[here ends Aside No II: The Aside Strikes Back]

11/

One final bit before I shut up:
- D/s is a consensual, negotiated power exchange between equals. Key terms: consensual; negotiated; between equals.

- Tops/dominants/caregivers & bottoms/submissives/littles are different roles but the people in those roles are of equal value

12/

Actually, I fibbed. Sorry. Well, not that sorry actually.

Instead, I'm going to amplify the wise words of a few other people who've responded to this thread:

https://twitter.com/MisterRogue13/status/1285228717686558722

13/

And this from @hi_im_T_:

https://twitter.com/hi_im_T_/status/1285234420769648643?s=20

14/

Regardless of your D/s role, you are entitled to say 'no' (or to use your safeword) to anything.

And you're not obliged at all to explain or justify that 'no'/safeword - saying 'no' is a complete sentence, as is using your safeword.

15/

Aside No. III: Return of The Aside - yes, I appreciate that not all D/s dynamics have safewords. But people in those dynamics can still say 'no'.

[Aside No. III ends. It'll either be 'The Aside Menace' or 'The Aside Awakens' next]

16/

Talking of safewords, take a look at this really good thread from @Ignixia on safewords and that 'no' is a safeword unless you've negotiated and agreed otherwise.
And do read the replies from @EvieLupine, @MargauxOphelia and @kinkyintroverts too.

https://twitter.com/Ignixia/status/1255200405363085315

17/

In closing, here are the 10 Golden Rules of BDSM Negotiations by Master Dale (his site is down but can be found on various internet archives), the thread below also has stuff from amazing people like @KaylaLords and you get ramblings from me as well
https://twitter.com/Master_Venture/status/888703597151752193
18/

IMPORTANT CAVEAT: as always, all of the above is just my opinion. There's no One True Way of D/s, BDSM and kink, just be be consensual and aware of risks, communicate well with your partner(s), do your own research, and do what's right for you & whoever you're with.

19/

And, of course, watch out for banana skins

Thank you for reading this far. As a reward, here is a dinosaur.

20/ENDS