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#FPL SHITHOUSERY - DIFFERENTIAL HAIL MARYS {THREAD}
On a Free Hit week 38? Behind in a mini league? Just wanting to throw caution to the wind in a final blaze of glory?
Here are some GENUINE differentials to consider for the end of the season.
Dive in folks. Now.
On a Free Hit week 38? Behind in a mini league? Just wanting to throw caution to the wind in a final blaze of glory?
Here are some GENUINE differentials to consider for the end of the season.
Dive in folks. Now.
Martinez - 4.3 - 3.4% owned
Home to WAT, the Arsenal stopper is a perfect cheap Free Hit enabler. He racks up save points for fun and Watford up front are like trying to eat soup with a fork.
He's got a lovely smile as well. You could take him home to meet your mum afterwards.
Home to WAT, the Arsenal stopper is a perfect cheap Free Hit enabler. He racks up save points for fun and Watford up front are like trying to eat soup with a fork.
He's got a lovely smile as well. You could take him home to meet your mum afterwards.
Fabianski - 4.9 - 2.2% owned
West Ham are on fire, Villa will almost certainly be relegated but not mathematically so will have to rain fire on Fab's goal in an attempt to score more goals than they've managed since the restart.
Collect those save points at the bank kids.
West Ham are on fire, Villa will almost certainly be relegated but not mathematically so will have to rain fire on Fab's goal in an attempt to score more goals than they've managed since the restart.
Collect those save points at the bank kids.
Tierney - 5.3 - 1% owned
The Arsenal full back has won every tackle he's gone into over the past four matches, is putting in 3 or 4 crosses a game and looks finally settled into a team where he can attack and defend. Watch the team news, but if he starts, he's a superb option.
The Arsenal full back has won every tackle he's gone into over the past four matches, is putting in 3 or 4 crosses a game and looks finally settled into a team where he can attack and defend. Watch the team news, but if he starts, he's a superb option.
Walker-Peters - 4.4 - 0.7% owned
Been in terrific form for Saints since the restart - with two clean sheets and plenty of attacking thrust. Cheap and up against a Blades team who have scored just twice in 6 away matches.
Remember when he got 3 assists in one match? Me neither.
Been in terrific form for Saints since the restart - with two clean sheets and plenty of attacking thrust. Cheap and up against a Blades team who have scored just twice in 6 away matches.
Remember when he got 3 assists in one match? Me neither.
Bardsley - 4.4 - 1.6%
Badass Bardsley is in fine form at right back for Burnley in the absence of any other fit options. He now has 3 returns in 4 and is bombing forward with the reckless abandon of a child at a water park.
The Clarets play Brighton. Who are wank.
Badass Bardsley is in fine form at right back for Burnley in the absence of any other fit options. He now has 3 returns in 4 and is bombing forward with the reckless abandon of a child at a water park.
The Clarets play Brighton. Who are wank.
Davies - 5.3 - 0.2%
0.2% (!?) owned Ben Davies has kept 4 clean sheets in 6 and Spurs finish the season against the might of Crystal fucking Palace. A team who couldn't score in a a crack den if they were provided with their own sack of needles.
0.2% (!?) owned Ben Davies has kept 4 clean sheets in 6 and Spurs finish the season against the might of Crystal fucking Palace. A team who couldn't score in a a crack den if they were provided with their own sack of needles.
Noble - 4.9 - 0.9%
The West Ham penalty taker comes up against the desperate defence of Aston Villa. Can't afford Mark Henry? Why not the the lesser light of West Ham's recovery - in the last 6 matches, only KDB and Willian have created more chances (18).
He is fucking massive.
The West Ham penalty taker comes up against the desperate defence of Aston Villa. Can't afford Mark Henry? Why not the the lesser light of West Ham's recovery - in the last 6 matches, only KDB and Willian have created more chances (18).
He is fucking massive.
Brooks - 6.1 - 0.1%
Bournemouth have to win. Everton don't and look like a side who wished they had never come out of lockdown
The Cherries are terrible but if they do score, which they surely have to, Brooks has an excellent chance of being involved
Ok this is a weak sell...
Bournemouth have to win. Everton don't and look like a side who wished they had never come out of lockdown
The Cherries are terrible but if they do score, which they surely have to, Brooks has an excellent chance of being involved
Ok this is a weak sell...
Gundogan - 5.1 - 1.2%
You'll see well known FPL accounts argue all week over the merits of David fucking Silva - but the ultimate differential in the city team is false 9 in waiting Ilkay Gundogan ( @johnsmithspurs)
Plus, he has Pep's kids hostage so will definitely start.
You'll see well known FPL accounts argue all week over the merits of David fucking Silva - but the ultimate differential in the city team is false 9 in waiting Ilkay Gundogan ( @johnsmithspurs)
Plus, he has Pep's kids hostage so will definitely start.
Oxlaide-Chamberlain - 6.1 - 0.5%
Don't let the fact that the Ox hasn't completed 90 minutes in almost 3 years put you off picking him. Let his absolutely rancid form do that instead.
But if you want a Liverpool left field option - well... here he is. A title winner. Somehow.
Don't let the fact that the Ox hasn't completed 90 minutes in almost 3 years put you off picking him. Let his absolutely rancid form do that instead.
But if you want a Liverpool left field option - well... here he is. A title winner. Somehow.
Walcott - 6.2 - 0.4%
He just fucking scored. He's fucking back. The greatest FPL asset of all time in small stretches. Could this be his moment to remind us all of how good he could have been?
Almost certainly not. But fuck... imagine the bragging rights.
He just fucking scored. He's fucking back. The greatest FPL asset of all time in small stretches. Could this be his moment to remind us all of how good he could have been?
Almost certainly not. But fuck... imagine the bragging rights.
Moura - 7.0 - 3.9%
Fresh off the back of a double assist, Lucas is fit and flying again and looks to finish off the season in the Spurs front three against a Palace side who may as well just euthanize themselves.
Miles cheaper than the @FlapjackFpl sponsored bloody Kane Train.
Fresh off the back of a double assist, Lucas is fit and flying again and looks to finish off the season in the Spurs front three against a Palace side who may as well just euthanize themselves.
Miles cheaper than the @FlapjackFpl sponsored bloody Kane Train.
Gayle - 5.0 - 0.5%
3 goals since the restart - expect an open, attacking game on Tyneside with neither team giving the remotest of fucks about defending.
The veteran can... hold on he's still in his 20's? What the fuck? Wow.
That was almost my @DavidMunday815 Steve Cook moment
3 goals since the restart - expect an open, attacking game on Tyneside with neither team giving the remotest of fucks about defending.
The veteran can... hold on he's still in his 20's? What the fuck? Wow.
That was almost my @DavidMunday815 Steve Cook moment
Long - 4.6 - 2.1%
Shane Long... is there a greater FPL hero of ineptitude in the game? Extraordinarily, over the past 2 seasons he averages a goal/assist every 200 minutes.
Ok that's not that great is it. But it's a lot better than Che Adams.
He could score. He really could.
Shane Long... is there a greater FPL hero of ineptitude in the game? Extraordinarily, over the past 2 seasons he averages a goal/assist every 200 minutes.
Ok that's not that great is it. But it's a lot better than Che Adams.
He could score. He really could.
Rodriquez - 5.7 - 1%
Not got Wood? Fancy backing the Burnley boys against the beached gulls? Step up Jay Rod. 2 goals in his last four and certain of a place in the team by virtue of Dyche having a squad of 11 to pick from.
Not got Wood? Fancy backing the Burnley boys against the beached gulls? Step up Jay Rod. 2 goals in his last four and certain of a place in the team by virtue of Dyche having a squad of 11 to pick from.
Lacazette - 9.2 - 2.3%
Want to know the striker with the best shooting accuracy since the restart? Step forward the forgotten Arsenal man with 70% (7 from 10) shots on target in his last 6.
3 goals in 4 and back to his best - a genuine high risk high reward differential
Want to know the striker with the best shooting accuracy since the restart? Step forward the forgotten Arsenal man with 70% (7 from 10) shots on target in his last 6.
3 goals in 4 and back to his best - a genuine high risk high reward differential
Kean - 6.3 - 1.4%
Look. Ancelotti can't keep picking DCL forever, he's as useful as Matt Hancock in a pandemic. This has to end soon. Kean could get his chance against that rancid Bournemouth defence.
It's the sort of thing that only happens in GW38 and you fucking know it.
Look. Ancelotti can't keep picking DCL forever, he's as useful as Matt Hancock in a pandemic. This has to end soon. Kean could get his chance against that rancid Bournemouth defence.
It's the sort of thing that only happens in GW38 and you fucking know it.
So that's it - plenty of options to choose from. Am I recommending an entire XI based on the above? Of course not you morons. But one or two sprinkled alongside the biggies could be the difference between you thinking you're good enough to be a patreon next season.
One Love. HM.
One Love. HM.
