what about katsuki—a whole, successful adult, #2 hero and rising in ranks, single with a bachelor pad—

and he’s so lonely. sure he flirts with his oblivious hero partner, but deku never notices.

so, after months of debating, he finally does it:

he adopts a newborn babygirl.

cue him banging on deku’s door after ignoring him for weeks during patrol, in the middle of the night, bags under his eyes and a wailing little baby in his arms.

“please, ya gotta help me, she won’t go to sleep and i’m fucking terrified that i’m doing something wrong and—“

but he doesn’t even have time to finish his sentence before deku wordlessly opens the door and ushers them in. he doesn’t even ask about the baby (yet) as he gently takes the screaming bundle, and in seconds he uses soft hushes and gentle rocks to get her to settle down.

kacchan has taken a seat on the couch, and even though he’s exhausted and terrified, he has his eyes on his aiko the whole time deku holds her. and it... makes something in his heart clench, to watch him with her.

//fuck//.

this wasn’t how deku was supposed to find out.

actually, in katsuki’s ideal world, his hero partner was never going to know about his daughter. was it rational? no. but it felt safest, because he knew he wanted a child of his own, and he knew he didn’t want to be an old dad.

or worse, a physically broken dad. he wanted to be able to play with his children, and carry them and help them with their quirks or with their hobbies or with their schoolwork. he wanted to play pretend heroes with them like he and deku used to do when they were brats.

so he adopted his baby. she was abandoned at the hospital by her mother, and katsuki (being a high profile hero) got the call first. and as soon as he held the tiny pink bundle in his arms, oh, he could’ve fallen to his knees he was so in love.

but now he’s on day three of officially having his bakugo aiko all to himself and now he’s watching as deku cradles her small form to his chest. and there’s suddenly a vacuum of silence in the greenette’s apartment since she fell asleep.

a part of katsuki wants to just... get up, grab her, and head back home. maybe he could pretend this never happened, and just continue on with his early sabbatical. and he’s almost about to do so whenever deku breaks the silence.

“so... who is this, kacchan?”

deku sounds almost hurt? he can’t quite pin the emotion he hears coming from the nerd, but it’s something other than his usual playfulness. and now that he’s here, he can realize that deku—having been asleep or generally up too late—was wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants.

and his curls were even messier than usual, and he just looks...

fucking //amazing//.

shit shit shit. he has it bad already, he didn’t need to see deku being so //domestic// with his baby. he didn’t need to see how instantly she’s relaxed against his warmth.

(and was it weird for him to feel jealous of his baby being so close to his hero partner? yes, the answer is yes.)

he realizes, also, that he’s been silent this entire time. he forced down the lump in his throat and looks straight at his now sleeping baby.

“this is... my daughter, bakugo aiko.” his voice is a tight whisper, anxiety already coursing through him as his hands ache to hold her again. dunce face had made a comment about how she was almost like his emotional support baby (which he received a smack on the head for).

but, he was right, to a degree of course. she helped ground him already, and his top priority now was her safety and well-being, which meant he would have to take care of himself to be his best for her, even on his worst days.

it is just the two of them.

deku hums at that, but he doesn’t say anything. and he doesn’t sit down—he’s too busy looking down at this tiny blonde baby w/ chubby cheeks and what looked to be kacchan’s own perpetual pout, even in her sleep.

his chest feels incredibly //tight// even though he won’t show it.

he’s just been waiting for kacchan for so long, he just... assumed he needed more time.

but now he realizes he simply acted too late.

“well then, i guess congratulations are in order, kacchan. and i guess this explains why you’ve been gone this week...”

he pauses, needing to make sure his voice remains neutral despite how tight his throat now feels.

“so, whose the lucky lady who got to carry on the bakugo legacy?”

katsuki was already halfway zoned out due to both his exhaustion and his hyperfixated focus on his daughter. but his brows furrow at the question before his eyes widen.

“w—no one. i mean, obviously she came from someone but i didn’t impregnate anyone, i—“

he shakes his head as he realizes how deep he is with his ‘foot-in-mouth’ syndrome. so he sighs heavily, taking a hand through his hair. “i adopted her. i’ve been on a list for months now, and her biological mother abandoned her in the hospital. so it’s... just her and i.”

if katsuki didn’t know any better, he’d think he saw deku’s shoulders sag in relief at the news. and then he finally got that award winning, victorious smile his hero partner was so known for.

“kacchan that’s amazing! i never even knew you wanted kids!”

he feels the tips of his ears heat up and he lets out a halfhearted chuckle. “it’s not like it would’ve ever come up in our day-to-day conversation.” he sighs. “i... i do feel scared that i might be over my head with her. i didn’t even have time to take a parenting class,

and now i have a newborn with a killer set of lungs. i’ve never even had a dog before because they were too much work, i just... i’m scared that i’ll fail her.”

katsuki learned long ago that deku is the only one he can be totally honest with, about everything.

because he knew that deku would never look down on him. in fact, as they’ve gotten closer through the years, he found himself far more willing to open up around the greenette. it felt... safe.

but deku doesn’t even hesitate. he finally moves and he sits right next to katsuki—

(don’t think about how his thigh is touching your own, katsuki) and he is looking so adamantly at the blonde.

“you and i both know you’ll never let yourself fail her. is it gonna be hard? of course, but you’ve also gone through way worse things and come out that much stronger.”

a pause. “i //know// you can do this. you’re amazing at everything else, and i can see how much you love her already. you can barely take your eyes off of her.” he offers a softer smile—a smile reserved (he hoped) only for him. it wasn’t big and boisterous like he had on tv.

it was soft, and gentle. “besides, you and i both know you just hate dogs. you’re a huge cat person.”

katsuki let himself smile softly in return, and this felt so... nice. just sitting here on the couch, deku holding their—HIS—daughter, just talking about everything and nothing.

it was something he could get used to, watching as deku’s crooked and scarred hands protectively held onto this tiny form. how his fingers would wander to touch her tiny nose or gently pet her soft head.

he wishes he could stay like this. maybe come up with some excuse to stay,

but then he hears a door open. and in seconds he watches as shitty h— //kirishima// emerges from one of the bedrooms and lumber out towards them.

he knew they were roommates (the original plan had been that all three would live together, but katsuki knew that would never work).

the redhead yawns and stretches before he groggily wanders over to the couch. and he leans down to kiss— //kiss//— the top of deku’s forehead. “hey baby, what’s going on? why are you up? what’s bakubro doing here, ohmygod is this your baby?!”

oh.

//oh//.

he had to leave.

now.

katsuki clears his throat and he’s up in seconds. his face is set, not willing to show any of the emotions he’s feeling.

“i should go.” he says bluntly, reaching over and grabbing aiko from deku’s arms (not thinking about how it felt to feel deku’s bare arms against his hand).

“kacchan, wait—“

“it’s way past her bedtime. i have to go. thanks for the help. sorry to disturb you.”

he didn’t acknowledge kirishima at all.

how could he? as he got out as fast as he could, he felt tears stinging in his eyes. stupid stupid stupid how could he be so stupid?!

he //confided// in kirishima about how he felt about deku. sure it was back in high school, but he can’t //believe// they’re... together.

as he walks to the subway, his mind won’t stop racing. how long have they been together? who made the first move?

...when did deku give up on him?

//no//. that wasn’t fair. it’s not like that kiss had meant anything (anything to deku at least, it meant //everything// to katsuki). yes they’d drank too much and yes it was sloppy and it wasn’t at all how their first kiss should’ve gone.

deku had initiated. he was looking with half-lidded eyes straight at katsuki. he mumbled slurred praises of how pretty he looked, how much he admired him.

and then he leaned forward and brushed his lips against katsuki’s.

he finally makes it to his apartment across town, and he easily lays aiko in the bassinet he keeps in his room (it’s a miracle she slept through the whole ride).

he’s barely able to fall asleep. but as he starts drifting, his phone pings with a message from deku.

he doesn’t read it. he shuts his phone off instead.

but the next morning, he isn’t woken up to the sound of aiko crying (guess she was plenty tuckered out from their midnight adventure). instead, he hears an incessant ringing from his doorbell.

he growls as he races to get up, to stop that horrible sound before it wakes his aiko.

he didn’t have any time to get dressed, he just answered the door in his briefs, “listen i don’t know what the fuck you think you’re doing, but—“

he was talking as he opened the door, but as soon as he saw who it was, he stopped dead in his tracks.

his eyes widened.

“deku?”

and sure enough, it was his hero partner. only now, he had bags upon bags with him, all looking like baby things. and he looked... almost sheepish.

“hey, kacchan. i’m sorry to wake you, i just... you left so suddenly and we didn’t really get a chance to talk...” he holds up the many bags “and then i was out and i just saw so many baby things that i thought she would like, and i might’ve gotten a little carried away but...”

he pauses, looking unsure of what to say as katsuki stands so stoically in his doorway.

“can i come in?”

he falters for a moment, still trying to process what’s happening. why was deku here? to rub it in his face that he was with kirishima? or worse, to try and talk about it?

he should turn him away. he should tell him to leave, that this isn’t a good time.

but he’s a weak man.

so, he steps aside and lets him in with a soft sigh. he watches as the other man sets everything carefully on his coffee table, and he crosses his arms against his chest.

“you didn’t have to do this,” he says after a beat of silence.

deku was crouched on the ground, pulling the various items out the the many bags—there were clothes, shoes, socks, toys, bottles, pacifiers, spit-up rags—you name it, deku brought it.

“i-i know i didn’t. i just, i figured since you couldn’t exactly have a baby shower, that i—“

“thanks,” katsuki cuts him off. and his voice is //sharp//. he can’t help it, it’s the best he can do to conceal how he really feels.

the tension settles right behind his ribs, making it harder to breathe. but he acts as cool, calm, and collected as he can.

“kacchan, i...”

“why did you ever kiss me?”

fuck.

he hadn’t meant to say that.

shit fuck shit fucking fuck.

everything was silent. neither of them knew what to say, and katsuki hated the way deku’s eyes filled with sadness and //pity//.

“kacchan...”

“honestly just fucking save it,” he blurted out, his frustration and feelings of phantom betrayal getting the best of him.

“save it for when you’re sleeping with shitty hair. save it for anyone else who might give a shit. it’s fine, everything’s perfect between us, that kiss meant nothing to you. thanks for all the stuff for aiko. you should go, because she’s bound to wake up any second.”

he’d hoped that would be enough. that his abrasive and harsh attitude would make the other flinch and leave.

but he didn’t.

he stood up from where he’s sat on the ground, and his eyes looked almost dark. it made katsuki’s own eyes widen for a moment from the sheer intensity.

“no. i’m not leaving unless you physically force me out. we obviously have things to talk about, and i’m not leaving until we do.”

katsuki clenched his jaw, wanting to say something but then deku beat him to the punchline.

“i kissed you because i //liked you//.”

oh god.

“i’ve admired you for my whole life, kacchan. it felt like a miracle when we started getting close again, and when you started only letting your walls down for me. but you never //said// anything. all i had to work with was that kiss—my first kiss, actually—“

‘ditto,’ the blonde thinks to himself.

“and then the next day, you completely iced me out. i’d been waiting for you for //so long// but then you didn’t talk to me about it. and that broke my fucking heart, katsuki. you can’t place all this anger on me alone.”

“//i// made that first move. it was your turn next, and you didn’t do //anything//.” a pause. “eijirou and i weren’t supposed to happen. i don’t really know how it started. i was distraught over being rejected by you, and he was there. and then it became... well, what it is now.”

“i’d rather not hear about your perfect relationship with shitty hair, deku,” is all he’s able to say before he hears aiko start whimpering. he sets his jaw and takes a deep breath before he goes to her.

and deku can see how happy he gets at seeing his daughter’s face.

even with everything going on, he still has on a soft smile. “good morning, sleepyhead,” he murmured before placing a kiss on her forehead. “it’s okay, papa’s here now.”

when he re-emerges, deku is still there. and there’s so much tension it feels suffocating.

“...anything i can do to help?”

and kacchan //knows// he should kick him out. he //knows// he should say no because he has everything pretty much under control, and he //does not// want to be around the only man who managed to break his heart.

but he can’t will himself to do so.

“you can go make her a bottle. and put it in the warmer for three minutes. then you can put all this shi—stuff away in her nursery.”

he cradled his baby close to his chest, wishing against all reality that this could be his life:

waking up next to deku, having this beautiful babygirl to raise together.

but... he knew that could never happen now.

he was too late.

so if he could get deku as a friend again... he guessed that was the best he could hope for (for now).

it was... honestly really weird to be on a sabbatical. he requested for 2 years off, because he wasn’t about to waste or ruin this time to bond with aiko.

after he let deku back into his life after that night (and consequently, aiko’s life) he was almost always around.

he made it a habit to stop by every thursday to check in, to help with whatever katsuki might need help with (which typically was nothing, considering he’d fallen into the swing of being a full-time dad easily enough).

he would just come by and eat dinner and catch up.

it was a weird kind of nice. and after the first three months, katsuki forced himself to be okay with hearing updates about deku and shitty hair’s //relationship//.

and there was typically nothing for deku to complain about (which, admittedly, boiled the blonde’s blood).

they were just... happy. and katsuki has to be happy for him, too. it was the only way he could try to ward off this weight on his chest from collapsing in on him completely.

one day, during one of deku’s now anticipated visits, katsuki was doing the dishes while deku help aiko.

it always made katsuki’s heart do these annoying somersaults whenever he watched him hold her, because there was so much /love/ in his eyes. his broken && damaged hands held her like she was the most important thing in the world (which she was).

it still stung, just not as much.

she was almost four months old, so she still looked so small in those hands (no do //not// wonder about how those hands might feel on your skin, katsuki).

he’d just received another uneventful update from deku on his relationship. everything was fine, hero work was hard—

the usual.

but then there was a silence that transcended the dull hums of the all might special from when he && deku were kids.

“what about you, kacchan?” deku’s voice came out as a whisper as aiko was nodding off in his arms. he was always good at that, getting her to sleep.

katsuki furrowed his brows and looked over to him from his spot in front of the sink.

“what about me what?”

“when do you think you’re going to try and fall in love?”

it was by the sheer grace of god that katsuki didn’t shatter the plate in his hands at that question.

his heart started racing erratically in his chest and he had to look back down. his hair (which was getting too long) has fallen into his eyes (maybe he won’t see the tears this way).

it takes him a moment to collect himself, to swallow the lump in his throat.

“the real question should be ‘when will my stupid heart fall out of love?’”

another deafening silence crashed upon them. katsuki’s hands stilled, and he was far too scared to look to see deku’s expression. he couldn’t take the //pity// that he knew he would find there.

“kacchan...”

“it’s fine, deku. just forget i said anything.”

he just had to put his heart and those feelings back into the box nicely marked as ‘for deku’ in his head.

“...you deserve better than me, ya know.”

deku’s voice sounded so //sure//, so annoyingly confident in what he’s just said. and it makes katsuki frown.

now he looks up and over to deku, who now has his head down. he tries to figure out how to say what he wants to say without somehow hurting deku more.

“there is no one better for me, deku.”

and his heart lurches into his throat as he prepares for what he’s about to say:

“there’s only ever been //you//.”

a pause, and his heart is about to beat out of his chest. and he silently steps out from the kitchen, and he approaches the couch where deku is sitting with a peacefully sleeping aiko. he crouches in front of him.

and he so softly reaches forward, but only to tilt deku’s chin to where they’re searching each other’s eyes.

“i’m in love with you, izuku midoriya.” his voice is a whisper, because he knew if he dared to raise it, it would quiver.

deku’s eyes widened. and he had tears in his eyes, on his cheeks as kacchan pulled his hand away (because if he didn’t pull away, he knew he would do something more. and he couldn’t do that. not to deku. and not to kirishima).

he knew he was about to be rejected.

but, even knowing that, it didn’t make his response hurt any less.

“i’m sorry. you have... you have no idea how sorry i am...”

deku left almost immediately afterwards.

and once katsuki got aiko settled in her bassinet, he sank down onto the floor outside of her nursery.

and with fisted hands in his hairs, he had to squeeze a pillow to try and lessen the ache in his chest, to try and soften the sounds of his sobs.

and, whenever he didn’t see deku that next thursday, he didn’t think much of it.

that is, until he saw the news:

‘pro-hero deku severely wounded in an ambush villain attack. the beloved hero is currently in the intensive care unit awaiting surgery. he is in critical condition.’

katsuki didn’t even think. he just grabbed aiko and ran to get to his car, to get to the hospital.

to get to //deku//.