I've been thinking this for a while, but I miss having a social circle to chat about fandom bullshit with on a regular basis. And I don't mean because of the virus. Modern social media is not conducive to traditional community engagement.

Because media is so plentiful and fractured nowadays, and probably because I'm no longer in school around peers my age, fandom participation is necessarily and online activity, but it's really hard to have a conversation with someone on Twitter. It's not structured for that.

Twitter is great for expressing your ideas in short bursts to be consumed and moved on from in a short period of time. There is not really room to have direct engagement, prolonged discourse or be able to participate if you're offline for even a day.

The old forum models, including community blogging like LJ, as well as chatrooms, were far more personal and group oriented than what we have today. In a big way, I really miss being able to have a conversation about whatever it is I'm into and it not be lost to a scrolling feed.

I'm left to a handful of in person interactions, including the one convention I attend each year, to be able to have these interactions nowadays, and of course, that's been disrupted by the virus this year. So, I'm feeling quite emotionally isolated and more than a little lonely.

I miss, and I can't believe I'm saying this because I'm an introvert and find social situations emotionally draining, just talking to other people about things. Any thing: what I'm watching, doing, things I like and hate, learning about things other people are doing and enjoying.

I feel so disconnected from all of it these days, and while the virus has made it a whole lot worse, I've felt this way for quite a while in general. I'm not sure what I can realistically do about it, though. Especially right now.

And it doesn't help that I haven't been in an active fandom in years or felt particularly interested in joining any existing or new ones at all. I just consume media quietly, tweet about it occasionally to limited engagement and maybe mention it in karate class (but again virus).