Final whistle blows at the Madejski stadium. We’ve just hammered Reading 3-0 on their own home terf. But it’s not enough. Cardiff have also just battered Hull to secure their own playoff place. You check the Forest score; it’s 1-0 to Stoke in the 95th minute. Not enough.

You let out a sigh of exasperation. It’s been a good season all things considered, the fact that we’d even come this far has been a shock to you. So when that sudden buzz radiates from your phone, unmistakably the sound of a OneFootball notification, you curiously open it.

It’s 2-0. Samuel Raymond Clucas has just sent Steve Cooper’s tricky jacks on their way to promotion. Operation Ginger-Cunt that started long ago with a 16.5 million pound deal for a wank Hull reject has finally gone to plan. Huw Jenkins, he’s done it again I’m afraid.