After my rape account came out, I got a lot of DMs from women telling me what had happened to them and urging me to post their stories for them, and I told them all the same thing:

You cannot use me as your human shield to tell your story.

Then the fallout will hit only me.

As much as I personally know how terrifying it is to face everybody and say this happened to me, and this is who did it to me, you really have to find the courage within yourself to level the charges openly because the accused party has a right to reply even if it’s all lies.

Shebi Mustapha did that interview with that guy in a corset, and told lie after lie after lie, not just about me, but about my whole family.

But did I glue his mouth? No.

I also didn’t hide to say it.

Called his full government name and put his picture there cause it was true.

So, this hiding behind a middle man who will not allow any transparency in an accusation especially of sexual assault is not it.

Ideally we would settle everything in court but reality shows that police and courts are not always reliable or honest so people cry out on Twitter.

If you accuse, do so directly and transparently.

If you’re accused and you didn’t do it, defend yourself and fight.

If you’re accused and you did do it, apologise and make amends.

If you’re neither the accuser nor accused, support who you believe in a decent and genuine manner

All this cloak and dagger rubbish doesn’t help anybody.

Accuse people openly so everybody can see clearly all the parties involved and so that both the accused and the accuser can defend themselves and present their own sides and what happened can be clearly evaluated.

And I really must say this even though it’s going to be unpopular.

And I say it from personal experience having already seriously attempted suicide because of bullying over being raped and accusations of “trying to destroy their lives.”

Don’t fucking kill yourself.

Fight.

This applies to everyone in every situation.

The victim must make moves.

Naturally, so will the villain.

It’s unrealistic to think that because you are being victimized, the other party will roll over and let you get justice easily.

It is always a war and a dirty one.

Fight.

Final note:

Social media is not life.

Despite what childhood proverbs might say, a bad reputation is not the end of your life, and life provides many chances to remake your reputation from scratch.

If it’s affecting your mental health, see a doctor, go to therapy, take meds.

I used to be so depressed seeing my name all over the various blogs that were paid to smear me as a fake rape accuser, a liar, and a golddigger.

Now I laugh because I can’t believe it used to bother me so much.

Unless something is physically killing you, you will overcome it.