Remember when I mentioned that assignment I give in my History of Rock’n’Roll class where students would have to pick a song they hated and describe why that song is important to a time or a group of people without me being able to tell they hate it?

And I said that the analysis can’t be lowkey shady? Like, no: “people only like this song because they haven’t heard good music yet.” Or “people like this song because it is simple and they aren’t smart?” Etc?
Remember that?

This assignment is partly to build empathy with people who have other taste, get people to take other people’s taste seriously, and to try and get them to stop thinking that their personal taste is objective, moral truth.

You can like, classical music/Illbient/Prog Rock/etc as much as you want. You can think it is the best. But it isn’t objectively better than Brittney Spears. And you aren’t a better person for hating on Brittney Spears. And the pop fans aren’t just dupes needing enlightenment.

They listen to Brittney because they like Brittney. Just like you listen to Meatbeat Manifesto because you like Meatbeat Manifesto. You can’t make the Brittney fan like Meatbeat if they don’t. They may not even be willing to listen to things other than Brittney. And that’s OK.

Why am I bringing this up? I’d love a bunch of the indie ttrpg world to maybe think about this. I see so many anti-D&D takes aimed at D&D players that just can’t seem to fathom that some people actually like D&D. They actively want to play it. It isn’t just time and money.

They like D&D, they have fun with it, and it does what they want. Plus they’ve already spent time and money on it and they want to keep playing it.
They may never want to play Monsterhearts or Winterhorn or any number of indie games. And that is their choice.

Trying to convince them otherwise by treating them like they are children who are too dumb to know what their actual taste is, is not going to be very effective. People don’t tend to want to join a club full of people who are acting like snobs looking down on them.

And I say this as a person who doesn’t particularly enjoy D&D...or to say it better, I enjoy a bunch of other systems more. And I get how frustrating it is when you are in a group that only wants to play D&D while you want to play A Quier Year. But that happens.

A lot of people are one system people. They have their system and that is what they stick to. It is often D&D, but I’ve known one system people who only played WoD or GURPS or FATE or Shadowrun or whatever. It is okay for people to have other taste and practices.

Valuing diversity, unless the person likes the popular thing rather than the hipster thing, isn’t valuing diversity. It is being a snob.
I have convinced a lot of D&Ders to play other systems in my time. But usually through mutual respect and taking their taste seriously.

And some of those players then started playing other games. Some of them never did. And not because they are unenlightened. That starts to veer into hipster bullying.

And I remember back in the day when D&D players were invalidating the new non-D&D games/players on the block.

There was a lot of unkind, gatekeepy things said about VtM and it’s players by a bunch of D&Ders in the 90s. And I didn’t like it then...and I don’t like it now when the shoe is on the other foot.

Let me share something. I was bullied mercilessly in school. Part of my coping mechanism was to be the worst hipster. At the time we called it being alternative. I listened to The Smiths and Tears for Fears and Siouxsie and the Banshees and felt superior to my bullies.

They bullied me and they were popular, but they were shallow sheeple, listening to Duran Duran and I was superior to them morally and also in terms of taste. My things were better. And I refused to listen to popular stuff. And you know what? 15 year old me was hurt.

But you know what else? 15 year old me was acting like a snob and I was lashing out and hurting other people. And that isn’t cool.

At the moment, D&D is still one of the most accessible RPGs for people who enjoy the Gamist style. These people aren’t your bullies.

Most of the indie games are Narrativist...and if you don’t like Narrativist play these suggestions are not going to do much for you. Because it is a mode of play that is not the one you want. Narrativism isn’t evolutionarily better. It is a style, like many others.

And a bunch of D&Ders prefer a crunchy tactical Gamist style. And they might move to Pathfinder (a bunch of them did when 4e came out)...but they are probably not going to move to A Good Society. And they shouldn’t be looked down on for their style preference.

I’m primarily a Simulationist who prefers Actor stance and most indie games aren’t speaking to me either because of their trend for more Narrativist play that requires director stance. They aren’t good replacements for my preferred style.

So I either stick with simulationist games—many of which are a bit older, or I disregard the designer’s intent and run the newer indie game in a Simulationist way anyway...often doing a few house rules to accommodate.
I run FATE very much against the way reddit says it should be.

Now, I also run and play in Narrativist Story games in the Narrativist way, because I like to be well versed in all styles. I find it useful to be able to code switch between the different ways of playing/GMing. But one style isn’t better than another, just different.

Of course we are also talking about if people should be playing D&D ethically. Some people will continue to play, others will continue to play but not give WotC any further money. Some people will play offline, but not online. Etc.
People are going to make their choices.

Basically telling people they are bad and shaming them for playing D&D is not going to win their hearts and minds and not get you what you want...which presumably is to get them to try different games...unless what you really want is to feel superior over people.

And they may never want to play the story game that you personally made. That is also life.
I find people don’t respond well to hipsters telling them, “You are normie dupe with false consciousness and also morally bad for the things you like. Play the game I made instead.”

Working on rhetoric and cultivating respect and empathy can go a long way. If people think you are attacking them because you are jealous or judgmental, they stop listening.

Playing Bonnie Raitt’s “I can’t make you love me, if you don’t” over and over also helps.

And for the record, I adore Good Society and Winterhorn and A Quiet Year and Night Witches and my take on FATE...and I love trying new games...but it just doesn’t make me a better person or mean I have better taste.