has anyone considered how neat it would be if xichen was jealous of su she
a-yao trusted him with his plans where he did not trust xichen, and the man got to die for him in the end where xichen did not..........
this is made funnier by the fact that both lans already hated the guy, like........... xichen having to live with this for the rest of his life is one final comeuppance for su she.
i wonder if xichen has runaway fantasies sometimes where he gets to be su she and does all those terrible secret tasks for a-yao............. getting to die with a-yao shedding tears for him. i wonder if xichen feels like the wretched coward now.
the su she in xichen's nightmares: the last thing i saw before i died is the love of your life grieving me, the last thing you'll ever see is-- oh wait, not him! because you killed him! :) and the last thing he ever saw was you leaving him to die!!!!
sorry, adding to this: i wonder if xichen sits and wonders which day, on which occasion, and with which secret a-yao decided that he could trust su she more than xichen with the reality of his struggles and needs and desires
"when did you decide i was not enough?" sigh *swoons* oh, xichen, it was never about that - but i imagine it can't feel any other way. "you're too good" really doesn't feel too different from "you're not good enough" sometimes.
do you ever think about how a-yao threw back in his face all the things he ever did for xichen? i don't doubt that xichen did try to do things for a-yao, but i imagine that - well, he was in a precarious political position as well. but this retcon undoubtedly fuels this feeling.