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Grief is tricky.
The 1st protest I organized in 2014, there were over 5,000 people in the crowd in Atlanta. Including a very drenched, very amped John Lewis.
As a young performer, CT Vivian would OFTEN buy tickets to see the shows of the ensemble I was a part of.
The 1st protest I organized in 2014, there were over 5,000 people in the crowd in Atlanta. Including a very drenched, very amped John Lewis.
As a young performer, CT Vivian would OFTEN buy tickets to see the shows of the ensemble I was a part of.
I didn& #39;t know when I met him that I& #39;d go on to speak out publicly against John Lewis, or in 2015 we& #39;d disappoint CT Vivian.
I just knew that they had a hand in changing the material reality of our people. I just knew I wanted to be... like them, in some way.
I just knew that they had a hand in changing the material reality of our people. I just knew I wanted to be... like them, in some way.
CT Vivian& #39;s laugh lit up the room + even at eleven years old, I knew in my bones that I wanted to charge a room of niggas up the way he did lol.
I learned later about what he sacrificed. What he fought for. What he lost. I wanted it too. Not to lose, but to fight for something.
I learned later about what he sacrificed. What he fought for. What he lost. I wanted it too. Not to lose, but to fight for something.
John Lewis is... was frustratingly faithful. He had a faith in the promise of justice that I don& #39;t share, that I was always trying to find. When he defended Hillary against us, it broke my heart. I am still trying to understand. But I wasn& #39;t on that bus. Or Edmund Pettus bridge.
My comrades turn from our cherished civil rights leaders, and I believe it is bc they just kept breaking our hearts.
We would eat teargas Wednesday-Sunday night, only to watch the leaders who we were in the lineage of, chide our "foolishness" Monday morning. It hurt. Hurts.
We would eat teargas Wednesday-Sunday night, only to watch the leaders who we were in the lineage of, chide our "foolishness" Monday morning. It hurt. Hurts.
For some reason, that was then and is now still hard for me.
The world spat on us. The police hunted us. The news lied on us and I wanted so badly for the leaders who I admired to look over their shoulder and say, "good job".
The world spat on us. The police hunted us. The news lied on us and I wanted so badly for the leaders who I admired to look over their shoulder and say, "good job".
I wasn& #39;t able to ignore my love for the "old folks" bc I believe on some level that their critique of us stems from a fear that we will face opposition even more violent than the terrorism they survived.
I want to believe that their public dissent was an attempt to protect us.
I want to believe that their public dissent was an attempt to protect us.
Or maybe I& #39;m just crying in my living room and trying to romanticize this aching want I am left with, now that a man who was once my hero is dead. And with him my dream of an intergenerational freedom-fighting utopia, maybe. lol.
I will share that when I was kidnapped by police in 2014, my hands + feet zip-tied in the back of a paddywagon parked behind the loading dock of a department store? When the police made threats + I thought I was DONE?
I was singing + thinking about John Lewis on that bus.
I was singing + thinking about John Lewis on that bus.
So yea, complicated, this grief. + I don& #39;t have the emotional capacity to sort through it all rn. It& #39;s been a week. It& #39;s been a month. Hell, it& #39;s been a year.
CT + John are transitioning to ancestors above our heads tonight y& #39;all. Light a candle. Eulogize them honestly.
CT + John are transitioning to ancestors above our heads tonight y& #39;all. Light a candle. Eulogize them honestly.
Woke up thinking:
John Lewis is perhaps known best for his celebration of what he called “good trouble”. I love this phrase bc it complicates/confronts the moral failure of whiteness, even unto the language itself.
“Trouble” as in disturbance, agitation. “Good”, meaning Black.
John Lewis is perhaps known best for his celebration of what he called “good trouble”. I love this phrase bc it complicates/confronts the moral failure of whiteness, even unto the language itself.
“Trouble” as in disturbance, agitation. “Good”, meaning Black.
The nature of “good trouble” was such that it confronted the illegitimacy of white supremacy. It honored the moral necessity of civil unrest.
“Good trouble” was a rhetorical shift in the framing of what white folks tried to demoralize. A rhetorical shift that became embodied.
“Good trouble” was a rhetorical shift in the framing of what white folks tried to demoralize. A rhetorical shift that became embodied.
The problem is, good trouble isn’t stagnant.
As the world changes, so does the need for “agitation”. Not just in location, but in strategy and intensity.
I think maybe John dreamed up this reframing, then forgot to calculate for the shift. A beautifully human misjudgment.
As the world changes, so does the need for “agitation”. Not just in location, but in strategy and intensity.
I think maybe John dreamed up this reframing, then forgot to calculate for the shift. A beautifully human misjudgment.
“Good trouble”, like a great poem, ceased to belong to Rep. Lewis once he gave it to us.
As a poet, I know how it feels to articulate a thing, only to have it live in the world differently. It’s beautiful, but it’s hard.
As a poet, I know how it feels to articulate a thing, only to have it live in the world differently. It’s beautiful, but it’s hard.
I’d argue though, that good trouble lives on in the folks shutting down highways, setting fire to target, and standing up against white supremacy, right now.
Even if our elders can’t see it, I can. And I pray y’all can to. The work lives on.
Even if our elders can’t see it, I can. And I pray y’all can to. The work lives on.
Period.
When someone dies, folks wanna beautify the mess. Nah. It’s messy, leave it that way. John Lewis failed us, and in that failure, denied us what was denied him when he battled “the elders” as a young organizer. We get to be angry, sad, and honest.
https://twitter.com/dashaunlh/status/1284546700435165186?s=21">https://twitter.com/dashaunlh... https://twitter.com/dashaunlh/status/1284546700435165186">https://twitter.com/dashaunlh...
When someone dies, folks wanna beautify the mess. Nah. It’s messy, leave it that way. John Lewis failed us, and in that failure, denied us what was denied him when he battled “the elders” as a young organizer. We get to be angry, sad, and honest.
https://twitter.com/dashaunlh/status/1284546700435165186?s=21">https://twitter.com/dashaunlh... https://twitter.com/dashaunlh/status/1284546700435165186">https://twitter.com/dashaunlh...
It’s really fucking weird that my thread is calm, and @DaShaunLH is getting death threats?
We’re making the same point: that our leaders are fallible, and that the latter part of JL’s life he positioned himself in alliance w/the State more than us.
I’m... are y’all alright?
We’re making the same point: that our leaders are fallible, and that the latter part of JL’s life he positioned himself in alliance w/the State more than us.
I’m... are y’all alright?
I’m a poet and I like to make hard shit sound beautiful, but please don’t get it twisted. In addition, don’t get so caught up in our “heroes” that we can’t tell the truth.
None of us are beholden to the legacy of men. That ain’t freedom work, beloveds.
None of us are beholden to the legacy of men. That ain’t freedom work, beloveds.
To support @DaShaunLH (esp bc Monday is they bday!) pls read some of their latest work and send something to their cash app.
